In case youre unaware of what Im talking about, #BisexualMenExist is currently trending on Twitter. If you head there right now, youll see its trending in the United States right below Dick Pound . The two, from what I can gather, are trending independently.
The biphobia towards Bi men recently has been so shit and honestly, in MY LGBT+ history month?! How dare! So Im bring back #BisexualMenExist for some much needed positivity! Drop a pic below with the hashtag and RT this thread! Allies, also RT! Ill start! pic.twitter.com/BYl1D2hzvV Vaneet Mehta #20ThemTy (@nintendomad888)
Truthfully, I am thrilled that bi men are getting a little love and recognition. All too often were forgotten about, like that one sock thats been under your bed for the past eight months. But like that sock, we do exist, even if you dont acknowledge that were there. You could choose to put us in the drawer with the other colorful socks, our brethren, so to speak, but instead, you leave us out. (You guys get the metaphor, right?)
I must admit that I find it slightly infuriating that this hashtag is trending in 2020. Its trending because people think bi men dont exist. If everyone thought we existed, then this hashtag would not be trending. It would be like saying #peanutbutterexists. Its like yeah, we know, and its delicious.
I struggled with imposter syndrome a lot that affects everything from how I dress to labeling my sexuality. But recently Ive gotten to a point where Im finally comfortable expressing myself #BisexualMenExist pic.twitter.com/v5Oil6eMyM Dan (@marbleplague)
But many people still dont get it. Just this past weekend, I was at a dinner party with a man Im having sex with. While my partner was off cooking in the other room, the conversation veered to shitting on bi guys. The gay man I was talking to explained how all bi men eventually come out as full-blown gay. At this point, I informed him that I'm actually bi. He immediately was taken back, and went on the defensive. Note, he didnt apologize.
He explained how he used the bi label as stepping stone in college and so did a few of his friends. Thats why he didnt think bi men really existed.
I wanted to be like, "Do you know what a sample size is? Five of you isnt enough to make the claim that all bisexual men dont exist. Its actually pretty self-centered and small-minded of you to think that everyone elses experiences mirror that of you and your dumb friends. Also, we dont come out because you dont think we fucking exist. Im not trying to be gaslit. Im just trying to tell you that Im down to fuck you and maybe that girl over there too. OKAY?"
Did I say this? No. Not because I didnt want to, but because I was at a dinner party. Im also somewhat exhausted from constantly justifying my bisexuality to people I meet. Yet again, I found myself doing it with him. He ended up asking me the old Whens the last time youve slept with a woman gag. Did I punch him in the face? No. Again, this a dinner party and not an episode of Bad Girls Club.
This is the state of male bisexuality. People no longer say to my face, I dont think you exist. Thats not cool. Like, have you been on the internet? You get cancelled for saying ignorant shit like that. Instead, theyll say these little things that make it clear theyre skeptical of my existence. And you know the moment I step out of the room, theyll tell their partner in confidence, Yeah I dont know. I think he may just be gay.
Not to sound like that girl, but I rather you say it to my face.
Heres the truth. Im a little tired. Im tired of justifying my sexuality. Im tired of the skepticism. I'm tired of the need to pull up my sexual resume to prove Im bisexual. Im also tired by some of the people who do think bisexuality exists because they often assume negative stereotypes about me and all bi men. They assume all bi men are slutty, or we're not capable of dating a person monogamously, or were greedy or some other BS. I mean, I happen to be all those things, but most bi men are not. I also dont want you assuming things about me before we ever meet.
So do me a favor, this time next year, I dont want to see #BisexualMenExist trending. Next year bi men are going to be peanut butter status: We will clearly exist and be loved for being delicious.