How To Handle The Pressure To Get Married

oke efagene

July 26, 2014 9:52 PM

So everyone is asking you when you'll finally take a walk down the aisle? Here's how to deal with the dicey situation.

Are you under pressure to get married?

It can be your partner or parents who keep dropping heavy hints about you walking up the aisle, but whoever it is, being pressured to get married is very stressful.

But how can you handle the situation with tact?

Try these tips if you're under pressure to get married …

1. NEVER GIVE IN: When you're under pressure to get married, it would be a serious mistake to give in. Both partners have to be 100% into the idea or you're heading for problems. Agreeing to get married just to keep the peace will make you feel resentful in the future. It's also not fair to your partner to marry them if you're not completely committed to both them and the idea of marriage.

2. ALREADY COMMITTED: Many people put pressure on their children to get married because of religious reasons or because they feel children should be born only within a marriage. But whether you decide to have children or not, you can still be just as committed to someone without a legal ceremony. And marrying someone won't cement a shaky relationship, but mess it up for good.

3. WHEN YOU'RE READY: Even if you do want to get married, the time may not be right for you just yet. Tell people you'll get married only if and when you're ready. Emotional blackmail may be used, and that's not on. If that happens to you, tell them you understand they feel that way, but you have to do what's right for you.

4. DIFFERENT VIEWS: Sometimes you get pressured to tie the knot when you just don't have any interest in the idea. If so, explain calmly that you hold different views on the subject and you can't get married just to please someone else. Tell them that you respect their views, but that those are their views, and you're equally entitled to have your own opinions - which may be different.

5. BEING SURE: Nobody gets married thinking that it will fail. They certainly don't figure that they can always get divorced if it doesn't work out. But one thing you do need is to be absolutely sure that marriage is for you, and that you have picked the right person. So tell pressuring parents or partners that you need to be sure. Someone who loves you should understand.

6. STRESSFUL: If people put you under pressure it's very stressful. Even gentle hints about mother of the bride outfits and wedding venues can get irritating if heard often enough. Ask them to stop because it's stressing you. It's more complicated when your partner is the one pressuring you, but try to explain that although you are not ready or don't want to get married, you still love them.

7. DIVORCE STATISTICS: Finally, you may have to be blunt and point out that divorce statistics are pretty high. A massive 50% of US marriages fail, and some of the rest must be miserable as well. So marriage doesn't guarantee that a relationship will last any longer than an unmarried one.

Marrying someone you love is a wonderful experience, but you can't get married to please someone else.

You must be completely into the idea, and confident that you have found the right person for you.

Have you ever been pressured into doing something that you knew was a mistake?

oke efagene