Ajah Has The Best Spiritual Weed In Lagos

I am an Ajebutter. Not by birth, or by formings, or by swag – I am simply an unapologetic Ajebutter by default. I didn’t choose to be born one. God, without seeking my opinion (because He’s God, I guess), gave me the genes of an Ajebutter and a funny Bri-Merican accent . By luck or some twisted work of fate, fortune, Karma (I might have killed ten defenseless puppies in my past life) or destiny, I have found myself in Lagos, crazy Lasgidi, and this is my story…

Sunday evenings are the loneliest periods for a bachelor Ajebutter who doesn’t want to spend time alone. The morning is alright with church service and pretty women wearing amazing clothes, but the evenings are filled with an unusual duration of inactivity that just seems to make Monday feel like a date with the Boko executioner.

Last Sunday evening, I made up my mind to break free from all that depression and boredom that comes with it. I live in Ajah, bounded all around by the sea. Even though there’s a high potential of flooding in the area, when you’re not anxious about writing your final will, or losing your home to the water, you can enjoy the fresh air that carries through from the sea, or revel in the tranquillity and serenity of the scenic water fronts.

On this day, I chose a waterfront to go cultivate these states of existence, and I learnt some certain truths about the beauty of marijuana in Ajah.

In Lagos, every area thinks they smoke the best weed on the continent. Ask a Mushin boy if he prefers Ojuelegba weed, and he’ll declare war against you. How dare you belittle their good stuff? Their only companion and source of inspiration is belittled, all for mere Ojuelegba pot? Mushin weed is the best jor. Doubt that, and you might just get to be the star of a roadside fight over the supremacy of marijauana.

In Ajah, it’s the same. We believe all good weed comes from the sea, and I, Joey Akan, discovered this at the waterfront. I was privileged to climb aboard a dysfunctional speedboat, where I met a philosopher. Michael, he called himself.

He was lost in thought, staring into the endless expanse of water and dragging a huge roll of marijuana. His was a world of solitude and inspiration, and I longed to be a part of it, without the marijuana of course. For the record, I don’t smoke weed. Never will.

“Hi Sir, good afternoon.”  I reached out confidently. Wearing a large smile to make him warm up to me.

Michael took a break from his reverie, stared at me for a little over 5 seconds, and nodded without an expression. If anything, I detected his slight displeasure at being brought to earth from the travails of his mind. I drew up close to him, leaned against a window, and shared his space.

He was slightly taller, rugged-looking, possessing an unattractive face that revealed his modest lifestyle. Rich men don’t smoke weed in abandoned boats. They have yachts for that sort of thing. Dark and muscular, he looked at home with his present environment. The perfect weed-smoker of the abandoned boats of Ajah.

He was legend.

While still making mental notes about my companion, he did the unimaginable.

“You want weed small?”. He offered me his drug. I stared at the wrapped piece of recreational goodness, and respectfully received it. Giving thanks all the way. Then I mumbled something about not smoking it, but cooking some stew with the leaves and all.

Michael stared at me again. That blank look that just seems to see deep down your insides. His eyes burned brightly from all that smoking, and I could feel it searching my soul. I prayed it wasn’t too evident that I have never held a wrap of weed in my life.

“That weed is the best thing around this area. It comes from the Ajah water, and if you smoke am, you go feel am main main. E go make your life better”. He declared his blessing over the drug. I nodded in respect and thanked him. Feeling the need to do something good in return.

“Let’s take a selfie” I offered. “I want to have a photo with my new friend”.

Just then I received a smile from Michael. He obviously loves photos, and my offer made him happy. 5 minutes later we had rounded off all the selfies, and I was well on my way back home. My Sunday evening was well-spent. I had learned an elemental truth, that Ajah has special weed because it came from the water. It was spiritual. Smoke it and gain eternal life.

Just before I left the water front, I brought out my gift from Michael, stared at it for a bit, and appreciated its symbolism. Then I tossed it back into the sea and cleaned my hands with respect.

“From Ajah water you were made, and to Ajah water you will return”. I whispered solemnly.

I felt blessed as I walked away. It was spiritual.

See you next Tuesday, peace and good hustle.

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