How Long Should a Talking Stage Last?

If you’ve ever been stuck in the talking stage, that space between “I like you” and “We’re official”, you know how tricky it can be. It’s fun, flirty, and full of potential… until it’s not.

So, how long should a talking stage last before you decide if it’s going somewhere or not?

We asked a few people to share their honest thoughts. Spoiler: there’s no single rulebook, but there are patterns worth noticing.

The talking stage is the early phase of getting to know someone before committing to a relationship. It’s when you’re both exploring your compatibility through texting, calls, or a few dates without any official labels yet.

This is the stage where people figure out if they’re genuinely interested, emotionally available, and on the same page about what they want.

But the problem is that the talking stage can easily drag on if one person is unsure or avoiding commitment.

In my opinion, there’s no universal rule. There are spiritual situations where you might be instructed to wait for the sake of growth and refinement.

There are also natural situations where both parties are wholly single and aware of what they want in life and in a partner.

All things considered, the talking stage shouldn’t last more than 4 to 6 weeks.

That’s usually enough time to know whether you want to take things further or not. By then, you’ve had enough conversations and at least a few dates to gauge compatibility, values, and intentions.

If it’s still undefined after two months, one of two things is happening:

• Someone’s unsure or emotionally unavailable, or
  

• You both enjoy the connection but aren’t aligned on goals.

In short, the talking stage should lead somewhere or end gracefully.

There’s no one-size-fits-all answer, but honestly, a talking stage shouldn’t drag on. People know what they want. A lady usually knows if she’s into you after the first date.

If she shows up for a second and third date, that’s interest — that’s her saying she’s open to something more.

But if after three dates she’s still unsure, she’s probably confused or not convinced enough. Don’t force it.

Takeaway: By the third date, intentions should be clear, or it might be time to move on.

READ ALSO: 10 Questions to Ask on a First Date in Nigeria.

Honestly, it depends on familiarity and chemistry. Strangers might need more time to get to know each other, but friends could figure it out in about two weeks.

Ideally, though, a talking stage shouldn’t last more than six months. If you’ve been talking that long with no clarity, something’s off.

Takeaway: If you’ve been talking for half a year and still have no label, you might be in the situationship zone.

Read Also: Gas Leak Symptoms: 10 Warning Signs You Should Never Ignore.

I think a talking stage should last at most one day! (Just kidding.) Realistically, it should last only as long as it takes for two people to build chemistry.

But if you want specifics, I’d say two to three weeks. That’s enough to know whether you’re interested or not.

Takeaway: Don’t overthink it. If the vibe is right, it shouldn’t take months to figure out.

READ ALSO: Talking Stage, Breakfast, and Other Nigerian Relationship Lingos You Should Know Early.

Honestly, a month. Because there should already be intentions before you even meet. When a guy with clear intentions approaches you, trust me, you won’t need forever to know if he’s serious.

Long, dragging talking stages are usually a sign that someone’s not ready.

Takeaway: Genuine intention makes things move faster; confusion slows it down.

READ ALSO: 10 Things Nobody Tells You About Living Alone in Nigeria.

I don’t think there’s a strict time limit. It should last as long as it takes to know each other through dates, chats, and late-night calls.

But you should always make sure no one’s wasting time. Once you feel ready to commit or walk away, do it.

Don’t string anyone along. It’s tempting if there are other… benefits, but please, be a good person.

Takeaway: Take your time, but be honest.

READ ALSO: From Lock-In to Daily Bread: The Everyday Money Terms Nigerians Throw Around and What They Mean.

If you’re wondering whether it’s time to take things to the next level, look out for these green flags during the talking stage:

They reach out regularly, ask about your day, and genuinely keep the conversation going, not just when it’s convenient.

They’re open about their feelings, intentions, and past experiences. You both talk comfortably about what you want and have difficult conversations like reasonable adults.

They plan dates, follow up after hanging out, and show genuine effort to know you better, not just surface-level talk. They ask about your desires, dreams and goals and help you work toward achieving them. They are invested in your happiness and growth.

You’re discovering that you align on core things, like relationship goals, lifestyle choices, and emotional needs. This is the major reason the talking stage exists.

They’ve hinted (or directly said) they want to move things forward. No games, no confusion, just clarity.

When these signs are present, it’s a good time to define the relationship and discuss what comes next.

Sometimes, the talking stage doesn’t progress, and that’s okay. But if you notice these red flags, it might be time to walk away:

1. They avoid labels or “don’t want to rush things” indefinitely.
   

2. Conversations feel one-sided or forced.
   

3. They disappear for days without explanation.
   

4. You feel anxious or unsure about where you stand.
   

5. You’ve been talking for months with no clarity or progress.

If the connection feels stagnant or you constantly question their interest, that’s your sign. Don’t mistake confusion for chemistry. The right person won’t keep you guessing.

There’s no magic number.  Whether it’s three dates, three weeks, or three months, what matters is clarity and intention. 

If you find yourself constantly questioning where things are heading, that’s your answer. If someone truly wants you, you won’t have to chase definition.

So, how long should a talking stage last? Just long enough to know, but not long enough to lose interest.