The relevance of NYSC

I think my name should go down in the history of Nigeria as one of the youngest CORP members to serve. I was born weeks before my mother’s degree exams.

When her NYSC posting came through, I served with her amidst cries, disturbances, and request to be served breast milk. They say “one cannot serve two masters at a time” and I reply “my mother isn’t one of those who cannot”.

For months now, the federal government and loud Nigerians have been breaking my heart by demanding or requesting that NYSC be scrapped. Anytime I see it on the headlines and people's tweets or Facebook rants, I cry because they don’t know what they’re asking for. How can people just pull such costly stunt?

I personally do not want the federal government to scrap NYSC. My reason may be stupid but hear it first.Why will they scrap an annual entertainment hosted by serving 'graduates' on social media? This hallowed time when graduates who cry foul at the government for its incompetence fight the incompetence with their graduated incompetence. A four-year incompetence plus service year is obviously an incompetence you don’t want to mess with. An incompetent incompetence maybe…Why do they want to starve us of free advertisement of our hopeless educational system? These corps members stand as strong reminders of the dire situation of the educational sector and the country at large. They model the failure of the country wearing a khaki to prove that the failure is not a democratic failure but a military type of failure. Remember, a democratic failure could be negotiated with but not a military.

NYSC should keep the fire burning. Long live NYSC! At least, they produce makeshift teachers en-masse to flood classrooms with their incompetence oozing from even their gait. Like aunty Amina in my Jss3 class who taught us that metabolism is hereditary. How she came about this is between her and the universe.Graduates should continue speaking nonsense on social media please. They should make us lose appetite in schooling too. I heard it’s among the swearing in agenda? Not so sure about this anyway.Yesterday, I saw a serving graduate write "I an my coleak (colleagues) qeening (queueing) up for breakfast. I was on the brink of denouncing my membership in humanity. Of course I am familiar with the brain baldness many Nigerian graduates suffer. But then, there are tufts of sprinkled hair in every bald thing. In this case? There’s none.And I looked at his picture. He looked like someone whose mother is bragging about somewhere in the market... it was then I saw the relevant irrelevance of the NYSC.

Osuchukwu Mark Anthony is a young writer, critic, journalist and humorist. He believes that if life is a pot of fried rice, he will definitely be the main spice. He could be reached @ markanthonyfoundation@gmail.com