National Best Friends Day: 8 friendship red flags you should stop excusing

Gloria Adesanya 15:44 - 08 June 2026

Add Pulse as a preferred source on Google

Red flags in friendships

While true friendships enrich our lives, it is crucial to recognise and stop excusing toxic behaviours, like constant competition, broken boundaries, and one-sided support, that emotionally drain us.

Best friends can make life brighter, funnier, and a lot easier to navigate. They celebrate your wins, support you during tough times, and know things about you that nobody else does.

But not every friendship is healthy.

Sometimes, we become so attached to a friend that we ignore behaviours we'd never tolerate from anyone else. We make excuses, brush things off, or convince ourselves that "that's just how they are".

This National Best Friends Day, it might be worth asking yourself a simple question: Is this friendship helping me grow, or constantly draining me?

Here are eight friendship red flags you should stop excusing.

1. They only show up when they need something

freindship red flags

We all lean on our friends from time to time. That's normal.

The problem starts when the friendship feels one-sided. They call when they need money, advice, favours, or emotional support but disappear when you need the same.

Friendship should be a two-way street, not a one-person service centre.

2. They constantly compete with you

A sad man

A good friend celebrates your success.

A red-flag friend turns every achievement into a competition.

Got a promotion? They immediately mention their own accomplishment. Bought something new? They have something better. Share good news? Somehow, the conversation becomes about them.

Healthy friendships aren't scoreboards.

3. They gossip about everyone

The gossip monger [Hivisasa]

If a friend constantly talks negatively about other people behind their backs, there's a good chance they're doing the same to you when you're not around.

Sharing occasional frustrations is one thing. Making gossip a personality trait is another.

Trust is one of the foundations of friendship, and constant gossip can slowly destroy it.

4. They never respect your boundaries

Boundaries

Whether it's showing up unannounced, demanding immediate replies, borrowing things without returning them, or pushing you into situations you're uncomfortable with, ignoring boundaries is a major red flag.

A true friend respects your limits, even when they don't fully understand them.

5. They make everything about themselves

Friendship or Toxicity

You listen to their problems, celebrate their victories, support their dreams and more.

But whenever it's your turn to talk, they seem distracted, uninterested, or quick to shift the conversation back to themselves.

6. They put you down, disguised as "jokes"

Toxic friends target your self esteem

"Relax, I'm just joking."

It's a phrase many people use after making hurtful comments.

Playful teasing is common among close friends, but there's a difference between joking and repeatedly targeting your insecurities.

If you constantly leave conversations feeling embarrassed, criticised, or smaller than before, jump ship.

Humour shouldn't come at the expense of your self-esteem.

7. They disappear during difficult times

Not every friend can solve your problems, and that's okay.

But genuine friends don't vanish the moment life gets messy.

If someone is always around for parties, vacations, and celebrations but nowhere to be found during your hardest moments, the friendship may not be as strong as you think.

Hard times often reveal who your real friends are.

8. You feel drained after every interaction

Toxic friends drain you and leave you emotionally exhausted

This might be the biggest red flag of all.

Friendships aren't perfect, but they shouldn't consistently leave you exhausted, anxious, or emotionally depleted.

Pay attention to how you feel after spending time with someone. Do you feel supported, valued, and happy? Or do you feel stressed, criticised, and worn out?

Your feelings often tell you what your mind is trying to ignore.

In summary

National Best Friends Day is a great time to appreciate the people who genuinely enrich your life. But it's also an opportunity to recognise friendships that may no longer be healthy.

A good friend won't be perfect. Neither will you.

The goal isn't to find flawless people—it's to build friendships based on respect, trust, support, and mutual care.

Because the best friendships don't just survive over time. They make life better.

CONTINUE READING: How to move on from a toxic friendship that's draining you