How to Deal with a Friend Who’s Always the Centre of Attention

There’s a special kind of exhaustion that comes from having a friend who never leaves space for anyone else. You know the type. The walking spotlight. The human microphone. The person who somehow turns your story about getting a promotion into their story about how they once considered applying for that same job three years ago.

It’s tricky, right? Because you like this person. Maybe you even love them. And yet, their need to be the centre of attention quietly chips away at your energy, your voice, and sometimes your self-esteem. You start questioning yourself:
“Should I speak up?”
“Do I sound jealous?”
“Is this friendship even balanced anymore?”

Let’s talk honestly about how to navigate this dynamic without guilt, drama, or losing yourself in the process.

Attention-seekers aren’t all built from the same material. Some genuinely crave validation because they weren’t seen growing up. Others perform out of habit; it’s simply how they’ve learned to exist in groups. And some… well, some just enjoy the limelight.

Understanding the why doesn’t excuse the behaviour, but it does give you context. It helps you stop taking everything personally. Instead of thinking “they’re doing this to me,” you start seeing it as “this is how they manage their insecurities or identity.”

That mental shift alone can soften your frustration and give you more clarity on how to respond.

READ ALSO: On MENtality, Ebuka and Banky W Talk About How Hard Male Friendships Are

Silently drowning in a friendship helps no one, not you, not them.
If you constantly feel overshadowed, drained, or unheard, that’s data. Your emotions are telling you something isn’t balanced.

You don’t need a dramatic confrontation. Just small, intentional boundaries:

• Let your responses be shorter when they dominate conversations.

• Redirect attention when you actually need space: “Hold on, let me finish.”

• Take breaks when you feel overwhelmed, step back without apologising.

You’re not punishing them. You’re preserving yourself.

The goal here is honesty, not emotional warfare.
You can say something like: “I value our friendship, but I sometimes feel unheard when conversations shift away from what I’m trying to share.”

It’s simple. Calm. Not accusatory.
Will it feel awkward? Yes.
Will you survive? Also yes.

And surprisingly, many attention-seeking friends respond better than you expect. Half the time, they’re not even aware they’re doing it. They’re living in their own echo chamber, not trying to build one on top of yours.

READ ALSO: 7 Things You Should Not Tolerate in Friendship

Some friendships unconsciously fall into “main character / supporting cast” patterns.
Maybe you always listen.
Maybe you always comfort.
Maybe you’re the audience, and they’re the performer.

Here’s a small but powerful shift: Start showing up as your own main character, take up verbal space, share your wins, and talk about your life without shrinking.

People treat you how you consistently position yourself. And if you’ve quietly trained them to always take the floor, reclaiming it will feel unfamiliar at first, but necessary.

Decide What Kind of Friendship You Can Sustain

There’s the truth nobody likes to admit: not every friendship is meant to be deep. Some people are fun, lively, hilarious, but emotionally demanding. Others are kind and warm but unaware of the space they swallow up.

Your job is to decide:
“Is this a long-term friendship… or a limited-access one?”

And both answers can be right.
Pulling back doesn’t make you cruel.
It makes you conscious.

It's really important to set boundaries when you have a friend who always needs attention. Start by talking about your needs using "I" statements so you don't sound like you're blaming them. For example, you could say, "I find I need some quiet time after work to feel refreshed."

Let your friend know that their behaviour impacts how you feel. Try to explain it in a way that shows you still want the friendship but need a bit more balance, so you don't push them away entirely.

It’s key to be firm but kind. Show you understand their feelings, but also gently explain that you need to keep your personal space and limits. This way, you both learn to respect each other, and the friendship stays strong.

Be consistent with the boundaries you set. If your friend tries to cross a line again, calmly remind them about the boundaries you already talked about. Sticking to your word helps make sure those limits really stick.

Talking openly can also help a lot. Let your friend share their thoughts, but make sure you still hold onto your boundaries. Good communication often clears up any confusion and helps both of you feel understood and valued.

Dealing with a friend who’s always the centre of attention isn’t about shutting them down; it’s about protecting your voice in the relationship.
You deserve space.
You deserve to be heard.
You deserve friendships that don’t shrink you.

And the more you honour your emotional boundaries, the easier it becomes to stay connected without losing yourself in someone else’s spotlight.