The Art of Being Single, and Genuinely Happy 

There’s a different kind of pressure that comes with being single in Nigeria. There are random aunties at family functions telling you, “It’s time to bring a man home”; the wedding MC joking about “your turn”; and the “God will do your own, too” remark from randoms. 

Let’s not forget the constant church recommendations for spiritual intervention and the pastor calling single ladies to the altar for a special kind of prayer and anointing that makes them instantly desirable and also serves as a subtle signal to the single brothers. 

Aside from these societal issues, there’s a point in your life when you start feeling left behind, lonely or desperate for love and companionship. 

A lot of us were raised with the idea that being single means something is missing, that you’re incomplete until someone “chooses” you. That narrative is limiting because being single is an experience in its own right. 

I’ve heard some women regret not enjoying their single phase, which is one of the reasons this article exists. 

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Being single is not a pause button or a waiting period. It is the season you get to know yourself, build yourself, achieve goals and do the most before anyone else’s expectations get involved.

To truly enjoy singlehood, you must rewire your brain to see it as a chapter for clarity, freedom, emotional healing, and building the kind of life you’ll be proud to bring someone into, if and when love arrives.

Here’s a simple checklist to get you started.

Happiness becomes easier when your everyday life actually nourishes you. Create small, energising routines: 

• a morning playlist that puts you in a good mood, 

• a book that kickstarts your brain, 

• gym sessions for the body you want, 

• night walks to refresh your spirit, 

• cooking experiments, 

• photography, 

• pottery, 

• running, 

• travelling to new cities, 

• joining reading clubs, 

Romanticise your own life and make every day feel intentional, even if it’s just buying suya on your street.

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One of the biggest lies we’ve inherited is that romantic love is the only deep, life-changing love worth prioritising. Not true.

Solid friendships are anchors: the group chat that keeps you sane, the friends who check in, the ones you laugh with until your stomach hurts, and the ones who understand your silence.

Host hangouts. Go on friend dates. Celebrate each other loudly. Create memories. Your social circle should feel like a home you return to, not a place you visit when you’re lonely.

Being financially stable in Nigeria brings a type of peace that even love can’t always offer. Use this season to get your money right:

• Build a realistic budget.

• Start an emergency fund.

• Learn basic investing.

• Explore career growth, courses, and side hustles.

Financial confidence helps you make relationship choices based on desire rather than survival.

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Know your triggers, patterns, needs, and boundaries. Work on healing old wounds, setting boundaries, learning emotional maturity and confronting patterns you don’t want to carry into your future relationships.

Go to therapy if you can afford it; if you can’t, try journaling. A thriving single life is built from the inside out.

The importance of solo dates can’t be overemphasised in this regard. Take yourself out on dates. Eat alone. Walk alone. Be comfortable with your presence. Dress cute, and enjoy your own company without shame.

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Fill your life with things that make you feel alive. Dance classes, gym sessions, and evening strolls that quiet your mind; yoga, pottery, reading, brunch dates with yourself or friends... anything that refills your spirit.

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Your home should feel like a sanctuary. Make your space warm, safe, and soothing. Light a candle. Declutter. Add plants or soft lights. Play music that instantly resets your mood. A peaceful home makes it easier to think clearly, dream boldly, and enjoy your own company. 

Financial stability? Career growth? Better fitness? Deeper spirituality? Yes, yes, yes, and yes. Write your goals down and break them into small, doable steps. Show up for yourself even when nobody’s clapping. 

As you grow in confidence, skill, and self-respect, your sense of identity becomes stronger and more grounded.

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Your worth isn’t something you earn by being chosen. You are whole on your own: your ideas, your softness, your resilience, your ambition, your humour.

A relationship may complement your life, but it should never be the reason you believe you matter. You matter simply because you exist.

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Being happily single doesn’t mean shutting the door to relationships. It simply means you’re open but not desperate.

Date with intention, curiosity, and clarity rather than the fear of being alone. You don’t have to treat every ‘talking stage’ like an audition for marriage. Enjoy getting to know people without turning your entire life into a countdown to “coupled up”.

Before anyone steps into your life, you deserve to know who you are when love isn’t defining you. What genuinely interests you? What values guide your decisions? What kind of energy do you bring into a room?

Lean into the version of you that exists outside romance, the one shaped by your gifts, quirks, dreams, and lived experiences, not by who you’re dating or who you hope to date.

Your body carries you through everything from stress to joy, heartbreak, healing, and growth. Treat it with the softness and respect it deserves. This is the highest form of self-love. Exercise, rest, eat healthy foods, do your skincare and dress well. 

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You don’t need a partner to hype you. Hype yourself. Buy yourself something nice, take yourself out, spoil yourself a little.

One of the most underrated perks of singlehood is the freedom it quietly gifts you. Your decisions are yours. Your time is yours. Your money is yours. Your peace is yours.

You can wake up and plan your day without compromise. Choose new experiences without needing permission. Change your life direction without a committee meeting. 

Enjoy the autonomy. Let it stretch you. Let it teach you always to put yourself first.

In all, Singlehood is a chapter filled with possibilities. It’s the period you learn yourself deeply, build boldly, and grow into someone who can love and be loved with intention.