From “I Do” to “I’m Done”: Why Older Women Are Choosing Not To Remarry

Across the world, an increasing number of older women are choosing to remain single out of a desire for freedom and personal choice. This trend reflects broader societal changes, where, once marriage was seen as the ultimate goal, it is now simply one of many options, and not always the most desirable one.

Nollywood actress Wumi Toriola echoed this sentiment quietly shared by many women her age. In an interview in April 2025, she said:

Marriage is a big deal, not something to rush into only to jump out of later, hence more women today are choosing peace, freedom, and self-awareness over societal expectations.

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Recent research by University of Toronto psychology researchers found that, on average, single women are happier than single men. Women reported higher satisfaction with their lives, stronger friendships, and even better sex lives. They also expressed less desire for a partner, suggesting that women, particularly as they age, gain more from autonomy than attachment.

Older single women are choosing independence and self-fulfillment over remarriage, and this decision is not borne out of loneliness or loss. So, what’s really behind this growing choice not to remarry? Here are four defining reasons.

For many older women, independence is no longer a negotiable option. After managing family responsibilities, they value the freedom to live life on their own terms. Living alone means complete control, deciding what to eat, where to go, and how to spend each day. "It’s me time", as many put it, because they can travel, move cities, change jobs, or stay home in peace.

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One of the most transformative shifts for women today is financial empowerment. Unlike previous generations, many older single women now have their own income, assets, and retirement plans. This independence changes everything. They no longer need marriage for economic security, and often, remarriage could complicate finances. Instead, they can choose relationships only if they add genuine joy and emotional value.

Experience brings clarity, and many older single women have lived through emotionally draining or unfulfilling relationships. Whether from toxic marriages or the emotional exhaustion of loss, they’ve learned the value of peace. They would rather be single than compromise their happiness or sense of self again. After years of caring for others, many now prioritise self-care.

Fulfilment today looks very different from what it did decades ago. Older single women are finding joy in personal growth, travel, hobbies, faith, and friendships, not just in marriage. Studies show that single women report a higher quality of life, stronger social networks, and greater satisfaction with their independence compared to men.

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The rise in older women choosing not to remarry isn’t about bitterness or rejection; many are finally choosing themselves and building lives full of meaning, friendships, and freedom. For those who have experienced marriage before, sometimes, the appeal of remarrying simply isn’t there.

They’ve lived through both the joys and challenges of marriage, and for many, that chapter feels complete. Some prefer companionship without the paperwork, legalities, or expectations that come with marriage.

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