Inter-tribal Marriage: The barriers and how to overcome them

In a country as beautifully diverse as Nigeria, where there are so many ethnic groups, love often crosses ethnic boundaries. When it does, it comes as a sweet dream, leaving you with a deep smile and memories.

But inter-tribal marriage in Nigeria is still a bold choice, sometimes met with raised eyebrows, family resistance, or outright disapproval.

While the idea of "love conquers all" sounds sweet, real life can get a lot more complicated. Still, it's very possible. There are already so many couples making it work beautifully.

If you're at a crossroads about deciding on inter-tribal marriage, here's an article that explains the barriers you'll likely face and how to overcome them. Let's get to it.

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Let's be honest, Nigerian parents can be tribal, and you'll often hear them try to mask their tribalism with statements like:

• Those people don’t respect women.

• They don’t marry outside.

• They’ll never accept you.

• Our cultures don’t match.

When they do, it can be very frustrating for the lovebirds, but that's not to say you can't do anything. Often, we recommend starting the conversation early and respectfully giving them reasons tribalism shouldn't stop your relationship. You can also involve elders or people they respect, since this can help them see reasons from a different perspective.

Imagine visiting your in-laws and everyone switches to a language you don't understand. Awkward right? Well, that's something you may have to endure with inter-tribal marriage. And you know how much weight language carries. Without it, things can feel distant.

Handling the situation might mean that you'll learn key phrases in your partner's language. Besides, you can encourage everybody to adopt Code-switching, so it becomes easy for everybody to understand.

Different cultures have different cultural expectations. As you approach important milestones in your relationship, you'll realise that they do so many things differently from how you do them, from marriage rights to food and even religion.

Unfortunately, these are the real pressure points that often cause friction if not discussed early or handled with care. Thus, we recommend having honest conversations about both family expectations from the start. Agree on compromises together and celebrate both cultures where possible. This way, nobody feels neglected or left out in the long run.

Always remember that inter-tribal marriage isn’t about ignoring culture - it’s about honouring both sides, while building a new culture of your own.

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Here’s what makes it work:

• Mutual respect for each other’s backgrounds

• Willingness to learn and adapt

• Clear communication

• Supportive family or chosen family (your own tribe of love)

• A strong “us vs the problem” mindset