5 People on the Things They’re Unlearning About Beauty

It’s the end of the month, and like clockwork, maintenance week begins. Hair appointments. Nail refills. Brow grooming. Pedicures. Waxing. Massages. It is equal parts pampering and obligation. I have to restock skincare, debate if that new serum is worth the risk, and remind myself that self-care isn’t supposed to feel this stressful.

As women, we do so much just to look good and even more to feel good. Somewhere between the masks, the appointments, and the endless routines, it’s easy to forget that beauty is supposed to be deeper than the surface.

For years, beauty has been painted with a fine brush, flawless skin, slim waists, perfect hair, and an effortless glow. But the truth is, beauty has never been effortless. It’s labour, it’s learning, and lately, it’s also unlearning.

In this feature, five people share the things they’re unlearning about beauty, lessons that have shifted how they see themselves beyond what social media, money, or makeup defines. From realising that water alone doesn’t fix everything to embracing natural beauty as work, their reflections prove that beauty isn’t one-size-fits-all; it’s a lifelong journey of self-discovery.

For Ife, beauty used to be a simple formula: drink enough water, mind your business, and your glow-up will follow. But over time, she learned that true beauty isn’t just about external glow, it’s about self-awareness and evolution.

“Drinking water and minding your business makes you beautiful,” she says with a laugh. “But I’ve also realised that knowing your personality helps you understand your style. When you know who you are, you express yourself better in what you wear, how you show up, and how you carry yourself.”

She also acknowledges a harsh truth many silently agree with: money plays a role.

“No one is ugly; money just makes everyone beautiful. When you can afford self-care, treatments, good food, and stress-free living, you look different.”

Still, she’s learning to balance both worlds. “Glowing skin is always a plus,” she adds. “But I’ve learned that your confidence and personality shine louder than your skincare routine ever will.”

Chidinma’s unlearning journey started in her skincare cabinet. Like many women, she got caught up in the hype, new serums, fancy acids, and ten-step routines. But after battling reactions and wasting money, she discovered that less is truly more.

“You don’t need to do too much to have great skin or look beautiful,” she says. “All those hyped products might not even be the best for you.”

Her biggest lesson? Listening to her skin.

“My skin doesn’t need to look like someone else’s. I’ve learned to understand what works for me, not what influencers say should work.”

For Chidinma, beauty now feels quieter. It’s no longer about chasing perfection but about embracing ease, the kind that comes from understanding your body and trusting it to tell you what it needs.

READ ALSO: Why I’m Adding Topicals Faded to My Skincare Routine After A Month

Tehillah’s biggest unlearning came with a dose of reality.

“I used to think being natural meant little maintenance,” she confesses. “You know how people say things like Botox, fillers, or BBLs are hard work because of constant maintenance? I thought going natural would be the easy route.”

It wasn’t.

“Even with natural beauty, there’s serious maintenance. You have to go to the gym at least three times a week to stay fit. Eat healthy. Stay consistent with skincare and hair care. It’s a full-time commitment. If anything, it’s harder because there’s no quick fix.”

Now, she views beauty as a form of discipline, one rooted in self-respect, not pressure.

“I’m learning that taking care of myself doesn’t mean I’m trying to meet a standard. It means I respect my body enough to keep it healthy and happy.”

4. Gloria — “Your Body is Beautiful in Every Version”

Gloria’s story is one many can relate to. She’s lived through multiple body types: slim, thick, and chubby, and with each phase came unsolicited opinions.

“I’ve experienced extreme weight fluctuations,” she says. “People would say things like, ‘I liked when you were chubby,’ and I’d feel pressured to go back to that version of me.”

For a long time, she tried to chase that version, only to realise it wasn’t worth the stress.

“At the end of the day, I realised I’m perfect in any shape or form. My body doesn’t need to stay in one version to be beautiful.”

Her unlearning is ongoing but freeing. She’s learning to measure beauty by how she feels, not how she looks.

“When I feel confident, nourished, and comfortable, that’s my beauty. Not the number on a scale or someone’s opinion.”

READ ALSO: Self-Care Gifts for When Life Gets Too Much

5. Precious — “Beauty Doesn’t Have to Hurt”

For Precious, beauty used to mean sacrifice. Hours of straightening hair, sitting through painful braids, squeezing into tight shapewear, or spending money she didn’t have to look “put together.”

“I used to think beauty had to hurt, physically, emotionally, and financially,” she says. “But now I know that comfort and confidence can coexist.”

Her shift began when she started prioritising how she felt in her clothes rather than how she looked in them.

“I’m learning that I don’t need to prove anything. I can wear soft fabrics, skip foundation, and still feel stunning.”

Her unlearning is all about gentleness, realising that beauty is not a punishment but a privilege to experience comfortably.

Beauty isn’t something you find; it’s something you unlearn and redefine. For Ife, it’s aligning style with self-awareness. For Chidinma, it’s simplicity over hype. For Tehillah, it’s discipline without comparison. For Gloria, it’s acceptance in every phase. And for Precious, it’s the freedom to feel beautiful without pain.

The truth is, the older we get, the less beauty is about what people see and more about what we feel. The real glow-up may be the one that happens within