Siblings wahala - how to deal with your entitled siblings

Siblings in Nigeria are a dynamic much. Yes, they grew up eating from the same plates as you, borrowing your clothes, and gossiping about the nosy neighbours.

But that doesn’t stop them from calling you stingy just because you didn’t send them urgent ₦5k last week. As much as they are your first best friends, they can also be your most persistent wahala.

In many Nigerian homes, entitlement is the unspoken family tradition. Maybe you're the one who "made it" first, or perhaps you're just the most "responsible" one. Whatever the case, some siblings will comfortably sit on your neck like it’s their birthright.

They won’t work, won’t plan, but they expect you to always come through - emotionally, financially, and sometimes even magically.

ALSO READ: Firstborn children have a higher IQ than their siblings, science says

But how do you deal with this without tearing your family apart or becoming the wicked sibling. Let's discuss.

Sometimes, it starts young. Maybe you were the one who got the scholarship or the steady job first, and everyone just adjusted to you being the provider. Or maybe your parents low-key made you the second parent.

Their entitlement often comes from a place of expectation, not wickedness. But that doesn’t mean it should continue unchecked.

Start by understanding the dynamic. Did you enable it? Was there never a conversation about boundaries? Knowing the “why” helps you address the “how” more calmly.

It’s okay to say “no.” It’s okay to say, “I can’t help with that right now.” It’s okay to protect your peace.

Setting boundaries doesn’t mean you’ve stopped loving them - it just means you’re no longer willing to sacrifice your mental health, rent money, or sleep because someone refuses to plan their life. You're a sibling, not a savings app. Be clear, firm, and kind. “I love you, but I can’t keep sending money every week. Let’s talk about how you can start earning more for yourself.”

If your sibling is constantly asking for money, offer to help in ways that promote growth:

• Recommend a skill they can learn

• Connect them with job leads

• Offer small support for business ideas with accountability

Don’t keep pouring water into a basket. If someone doesn’t want to improve their situation, your efforts will always feel like a waste.

If there’s one thing Nigerian families avoid like NEPA bills, it’s honest conversations. But silence breeds resentment. Call a family meeting if necessary, or pull the sibling aside and talk.

Let them know you care but things have to change. Be firm but empathic during such conversations. Sometimes, they don’t even realize how much pressure they’re putting on you until you explain it.

READ ALSO: 5 struggles only first-born children can relate to

Remember: You can’t pour from an empty cup. You’re no good to your family, your future, or even yourself if you're burnt out from constantly carrying other people’s load.

Take care of yourself. Rest. Save. Build your own future too. You owe it to the version of you that worked hard to be where you are now.