If He Says These 10 Things on a Date, Run!

Red flags do not only show up in action but also in conversations. Imagine you finally sit across from someone you’ve been texting for weeks at your favourite date spot, and within the first 10 minutes, something just feels… off? 

He looks good. The vibe is decent. But he says something, and suddenly your stomach tightens. You brush it off. You don’t want to be dramatic. You tell yourself you’re overthinking.

Words show how someone thinks, what they tolerate, and how they treat others. If he says or asks any of these things on a first date, he’s handing you the instruction manual to his personality. You just have to read between the lines.

Read Next: 10 Questions to Ask on a First Date in Nigeria 

Every single one? This is the grandaddy of all red flags in a relationship. If every ex is crazy, what’s the common denominator?

Spoiler: it’s him.

When someone talks about all their exes like villains, it usually means they’ve never reflected on their own behaviour. It’s easier to call a woman “crazy” than admit you were inconsistent, emotionally unavailable, or disrespectful.

Today it’s her. Tomorrow, it will be you. One day, you’ll be added to the “crazy ex” hall of fame simply because you asked for respect.

Honesty is kind. Bluntness without empathy is not. People who say this often use it as permission to be rude, dismissive, or emotionally careless. Over time, their “bluntness” will start to feel like criticism and emotional neglect. Today, it’s a joke about your outfit. Tomorrow, it’s your personality.

Read Also: Is It a Red Flag Or a Deal Breaker? 

Sounds flattering, right? Wrong. This puts other women down to elevate you, and that’s not a compliment. 

Eventually, you’ll “become like other girls” the moment you express boundaries. The pedestal disappears, and you realise that aside from the fact that it was an insult, it was a code to make you edit yourself so you stay elevated in his sight.  

No labels often equals no responsibility and accountability. He wants the perks of a relationship – attention, emotional support, intimacy – without the effort. This keeps you in a relationship limbo where you’re not exclusive and also not official. Invested, but never prioritised.

It sounds modern. Chill. Open-minded. But what it often really means is, 'I want access to you without any obligation.' That’s how situationships are born.

Believe him. Believe him! Don’t hear “right now” and start planning how you’ll change his mind. People say this when they want something casual but still enjoy romantic attention. If you want a relationship, take the exit. If you’re also not looking for something serious, this may not be a big deal for you. A similar statement you will hear is, “Let’s just see how things go.”

People who genuinely hate drama don’t create it, and they don’t announce it. This sounds reasonable until you realise that many men use “drama” to describe women having feelings, needs, or boundaries.

Anyone who dislikes “drama” usually dislikes being held emotionally accountable. When you eventually express discomfort, you’ll be told you’re doing too much.

Read Next: Before You Meet That Online Crush, Do These Quick Safety Checks 

Nobody’s saying he needs a football team of buddies, but zero close relationships? That’s concerning because it means there’s no one to keep him accountable. It also points to his lack of social skills. If he can’t maintain friendships, romance won’t be easier.

This phrase is a locked door. It means: don’t expect effort, growth, or change. If he can develop and hone his skills to stay relevant in his industry, why can’t he channel that agency to his character development? It’s one thing to be self-aware and another to be immature. Knowing your flaws without working on them points to the latter. 

Read Next: 12 Green Flags in a Relationship That Mean You’ve Found a Good One

Yeah, we’ve all had issues with the opposite sex at some point. But if he constantly talked about women’s actions and inactions in an irritated or annoying tone, that shows how he sees and feels about women, and you’re not exempt. It often points to a lack of empathy, respect, or understanding of women beyond attraction.

It shows his level of maturity, mindset and his ability to handle a relationship with a woman. You may suggest that he find a man for his peace and sanity. 

This might sound curious, but it’s actually a subtle insult. It suggests there must be something wrong with you. It puts you on the defensive. It shifts power in the conversation.

A good first date doesn’t make you feel like you need to justify your decision.

Read Next: Are You in Love or Just Horny? 

Practise the art of polite exits: 

• “I’m heading out early, but it was nice meeting you.”

• “I don’t think we’re looking for the same things.”

You don’t owe anyone a second date just because they paid for your meal.

First dates are when people try the hardest to impress. So, if someone is already dismissive, emotionally vague, or subtly disrespectful at this stage, it’s unlikely to improve.

Words reveal:

• Emotional maturity

• How someone handles responsibility

• How they see women and relationships

So listen closely.