Chimamanda Adichie opens up about cremating late son, grieving his death and why Nigeria no longer feels the same

• Chimamanda Adichie has revealed why she and her husband, Ivara Esege, chose to cremate their 21-month-old son, Nkanu, after he died in Nigeria.

• The Nigerian author described the physical and emotional pain of grieving while caring for her surviving children.

• Chimamanda Adichie says her feelings towards Nigeria have changed after her son’s death

Nkanu died in January 2026 after developing complications while undergoing medical procedures at Euracare Multi-Specialist Hospital in Lagos. Adichie and Esege have alleged medical negligence in the treatment of their son, while Euracare has denied wrongdoing. A Medical and Dental Council investigation later found a prima facie case of negligence against three doctors involved in Nkanu’s care.

Speaking in a recent interview with The New York Times, Adichie recalled how Nkanu was given Propofol for an MRI at the hospital before he suffered cardiac arrest.

She said the doctor told her, “Well, look, they gave him too much Propofol,” words she said she would never forget. The family has also said they were not properly informed about the severity of Nkanu’s condition or exactly when he died.

Since his death, reminders of Nkanu remain around the family home. His highchair is still beside his twin brother’s at the dining table, while his clothes remain folded upstairs in his room.

Adichie said she has had to adjust to buying clothes for one boy instead of two, even though she sometimes still adds two of the same items to her online shopping cart before remembering that she now needs only one.

The author also spoke about the decision she and Esege made to cremate Nkanu. The couple had experienced several losses in the years before their son’s death, including the deaths of Adichie’s parents and Esege’s brother. Faced with another funeral, they decided they could not go through the same experience again.

Recalling a conversation with her husband the day after Nkanu died, Adichie said:

“I just remember looking at IV and saying, 'Do we have to have another funeral?' We'll cremate him. We'll take him with us because we can't leave him behind.'”

The decision has since become part of the legal dispute surrounding the coroner’s inquest into Nkanu’s death, with Euracare challenging the proceedings partly on the grounds that the child had been cremated before the inquest began.

For Adichie, however, the decision was rooted in grief and the desire to keep her son close.

“When my father died, I was struck by the physicality of grief. And this time, even more so, I feel it. It's in my stomach, and it's in my chest, and you're just so tired every day. Everything is difficult. Everything.

“And then you have to pretend because you have children, and you're terrified of how they're doing. Sometimes my son doesn't want me to hold him because I'm so weepy. He's 2. So I really try. It feels like the full manifestation of my grief is impossible because of the condition of being a mother.”

Nkanu’s death has also altered Adichie’s relationship with Nigeria, a country she and her family had long considered a second home. The family spent Christmases, Easter and summers in Nigeria, while their daughter still considers the country her “happy place”.

Adichie acknowledged Nigeria’s importance to her life and writing, saying America gave her the opportunity to write, while Nigeria gave her what she needed to become the writer she is.

But the loss of her son has changed that connection. Speaking about the difficulty of reconciling her memories of Nigeria with the circumstances surrounding Nkanu’s death, she said, “My feelings toward Nigeria have changed.”

As she reflected on the loss, Adichie was asked whether Nigeria was still where she felt she belonged.

“I do not want to go back to Nigeria,” she said.

For a woman who had long described Nigeria as home, the statement captures the profound change Nkanu’s death has brought to her relationship with the country.

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