Kesha says she’s had a rough road, including battling intense anxiety, depression, and an eating disorder but she’s now a “strong, independent woman.”
The 30-year-old singer has been locked in a legal battle with her former producer and boss Dr. Luke—who she alleges sexually, physically, and verbally abused her—since 2014, which prevented her from releasing new music. But now, she has a new single out—and it’s amazing.
The song is called “Praying,” and the music video for it starts with a spoken word poem from the artist. “Am I dead? Or is this one of those dreams? Those horrible dreams that seem like they last forever?" Kesha asks in the beginning of the video. "I can't do this anymore. Please just let me die. Being alive hurts too much."
The message gets more positive from there, and Kesha can be seen walking in brightly-colored outfits, implying that she’s moving forward in light of her rough recent history.
Kesha wrote in a new essay for Lenny Letter that she has “channeled my feelings of severe hopelessness and depression,” into the moving single, noting, "I have found strength in myself even when it felt out of reach.” Now, she says, she’s found what she thought was “an unobtainable place of peace.”
“This song is about coming to feel empathy for someone else even if they hurt you or scare you,” Kesha writes. “It's a song about learning to be proud of the person you are even during low moments when you feel alone. It's also about hoping everyone, even someone who hurt you, can heal.”
Kesha says she’s had a rough road, including battling intense anxiety, depression, and an eating disorder (for which she went to rehab in 2014), but she’s now a “strong, independent woman.” “I have realized through this long journey of ups and downs that if I'm lucky enough to have a voice that people listen to, then I should use it for good and for truth,” she writes. “Finding the strength to come forward about these things is not easy, but I want to help others who are going through tough times.”
Kesha says that she knows she was never abandoned by her fans or family, but she was so depressed that she felt like she had nothing. “Even having my kitties sleeping next to me in my darkest of hours couldn't bring me light,” she writes. “It is in these moments when even the most cynical among us are forced to turn to something other than ourselves—we turn to prayer, or something like it. You look past your shame, past your desire to hide, and admit you need help.”
“Praying” isn’t the only new song Kesha has to offer—she has a new album, Rainbow, that will be out on August 11, Billboard reports. Her last album, Warrior, was released in November 2012. It’s unclear how the legal barriers that have prevented Kesha from releasing new music have been addressed, although Dr. Luke was dropped as the CEO of his label Kemosabe Records in April, according to The Hollywood Reporter. The court case between Kesha and Dr. Luke is still pending in New York, according to Billboard.