Five women confess the pros and cons of office affairs.
On the show Empire, the demise of the relationship between boss-man Lucious Lyon and his former fiancé/employee Anika Calhoun is truly nightmare-worthy. Despite ominous examples like this, it can be tough not to even consider crossing the line if and when sparks start to fly.
But Jennifer Freed, Ph.D., a marriage and family therapist, says that the only way to make this work is if it’s a public relationship. "If you are able to be proud and transparent about your intimate connection then it can be positive," says Freed. "In all other cases, it is a self-diminishing choice."
If you’re wondering what it’s like to sleep with your boss one night and see him at work the next, read the stories form these five women.
"To be real, it was only a matter of time before it happened. During my interview, we flirted the entire time, and he gave me his personal cell number before he hired me. I worked as his assistant for two months before we ended up at a bar, taking shots, which led to kissing.
It went downhill from there, and we officially started a relationship. It’s still a complete secret from everyone we work with. I brought him home for the holidays and my parents and family know. I think we’ll get married in the future. It wasn't a good idea to get involved with him, but you can't help who you fall in lovewith." —Marcy D., 31
"Christmas parties are never a good idea. I ended up getting really, really drunk and spending the night with my boss. Neither of us had any chemistry or feelings for each other beforehand. It was a drunken mess, and we both woke up the next morning embarrassed. I was scared I’d get fired.
My boss was scared I’d tell people. It was so awkward for the first couple of months because I directly report to him and we have meetings once a week—just us. A few months later, we both chilled out and decided to put it behind us. It’s been a year and we’re finally starting to act normal. I would never, ever do this again with a boss. Our Christmas party is next week, and I’m not even going." — Liz H., 29
"My boss has a reputation of being a womanizer. The rumor around our office is that he’s slept with at least five employees. Also, he's really hot. I kind of knew what I was getting myself into before we actually hooked up. I knew it would only be a one-time thing and it would never result in anything serious. It was just like any other one-night stand, except it was with a person who I happen to see all the time." —Michelle W., 33
"I’d call the sex with my boss revenge sex. I was planning on quitting in the next month or so because my boss was awful and I wanted to move on with my career. I figured it would be a lot of fun to sleep with him and then quit because he's super hot. He’s just a hot asshole. I asked him out for a drink, and then we slept together. Two weeks after the first and only time we hooked up, I quit. It was right before the holidays so he wouldn't be able to find someone to take my place for a while. I never spoke to him again." —Debby S., 31
"I’ve been hooking up with my boss for two years. We aren’t dating, but we do have something pretty consistent going on. Nobody in our office knows and when we are at work, we pretend like we’re hardly even friends. It kind of keeps my life interesting. It makes me wonder if other people in my office are sleeping with their bosses, too!" —Carrie F., 27