You feel lonely and lack interest in all fun things as they appear to remind you of him/her.

Resorting to a rebound relationship is an escape route most people take without being conscious that’s even what they are doing.

You meet someone new immediately after a nasty breakup and you think you have struck love-gold or run back into the arms of an old flame, this is just your heart and body craving attention or love.

I understand but I tell you, ignore that feeling.

It is one of the simplest ways to overcome the boredom and lonely nights however; it comes with just a few complications.

First, you are not in love with that person. No matter what you think or feel, you are absolutely not.

A few months or weeks down the line you realize this and then start seeing all the flaws you ignored in the first place and these might be things you can’t stand.

You resort back to self-pity when you realize you have gone so low and done things with someone who you can’t last with.

In some other cases the other party knows you are at your weakest and take every possible advantage of you.

They begin to appeal to your psych saying things like “I could never do what he/she did to you”, understand this fact: they can do worse!

They know the reassurance is bound to get to you and make you feel more relaxed, but it’s only a matter of time before they get tired of the pampering and cooing and begin the complaints/incessant nagging.

A few months or weeks down the line of a rebound, after checking your new beau’s attributes against your ex you might realize the feeling is not even that deep.

You could actually be over the old relationship, and actually still know that this new person is not the one for you.

Eventually you might hurt someone else who was misled into thinking you really wanted them to start with.

Generally the issues with jumping into a relationship immediately after one break up are much more than the fun. You hurt yourself or hurt someone else.

In my own books there are a few steps you should take immediately after a break-up to help you simmer down.

1. Don’t lock yourself in, go out with friends and family.

2. Change environment, while this might seem farfetched. I don’t mean move houses or any other drastic thing, but don’t frequent the same places you used to while together, same lounge, same mall etc. This would be just for a while, until you are sure tears won’t well up in your eyes each time you remember something.

3. Don’t be vindictive, so many times I hear ladies curse or wish evil on an ex (truth be told, I must have too) but it is unnecessary. That is just letting undue anger have its way. We dated, we broke up, it didn’t work…SO??? I realized a long time ago that letting go of the anger helps you stay happy. You should stop blaming your lack of happiness on someone else who is very happy and maybe has forgotten you exist.

4. Give yourself time, you would heal. With a couple of good friends and a few glasses of chardonnay *winks* you would surely heal.

My friends, do everything to get over that guy or girl but don’t jump into another person’s arms right away.

Do have a lovely day/week/month/year ahead… xoxo._______________

Ayeni Funke is a member of Pulse's increasing community of bloggers, who regularly deliver articles on a variety of subjects, in a bid to entertain and educate you.