Friendship Dynamics: How to Handle a Male-Centred Friend

Most girls know exactly what I mean when I say this: you probably have that one friend who’s convinced she could meet her future husband every time she steps out of the house. She never leaves home without a full face of makeup, she switches her voice to a soft Betty Boop tone the moment a man walks into the room.

Worst of all, she suddenly recalls an embarrassing story from months ago and brings it up in front of men, just to make herself look more desirable by comparison. It’s always in those tiny, blink-and-you'll-miss-it moments that you see the desperation and the need to be noticed.

The truth is, a lot of this behaviour is subconscious. Many women have been raised in a world that tells us being found attractive by men is something to chase. So some people end up prioritising male approval without even realising it. Being the friend on the receiving end can be frustrating, draining, and, sometimes, hurtful. If you’ve ever wondered how to handle a male-centered friend, here are some honest, practical ways to navigate it.

A male-centred friend is often operating on autopilot. She’s not waking up in the morning planning to embarrass you. Most of the time, she’s acting out of habit and insecurity. Realising this won’t magically make the comments feel nice, but it helps you understand that her behaviour is about her, not you. When you don’t take her actions to heart, you can respond calmly instead of feeling attacked.

You don’t need to have a dramatic friendship breakup to protect your peace. Sometimes, small boundaries do the job.

For example:

• If she brings up embarrassing stories in front of men, tell her privately, “Babe, that thing you mentioned earlier made me uncomfortable. Please don’t do that again.”

• If she turns every hangout into a man-hunting mission, politely say, “I came to relax today, not do husband scouting.”

Boundaries don’t have to be harsh. They just need to be clear.

READ ALSO: How to Build Boundaries When You Are a Homeworker 

A male-centred friend sometimes sees every woman, including her friends, as competition. You don’t have to participate. If she’s trying to “one-up” you, don’t take the bait. Keep your energy steady. Compliment her, redirect awkward moments, or ignore the subtle digs. When you don’t “compete,” she loses the incentive to pull you into that cycle.

Sometimes these friends rely heavily on male attention for confidence. They feel prettier, funnier or more valuable when men approve of them. You can be a supportive friend without feeding the obsession.

Try saying things like:

• “You look nice today, by the way.”

• “You don’t need to do too much; you’re already stunning.”

This shows her she’s valued beyond male validation. Over time, it can help shift her focus.

If she’s truly a friend you care about, it might be worth having a deeper talk. Pick a calm moment and be kind but honest. For example:

“I’ve noticed you act differently when men are around, and sometimes it puts me in awkward positions. I want us to be good, so I just wanted to raise it.”

You’re not attacking her, you’re only expressing how her behaviour affects you. Real friends listen even if it takes them a while to process it.

READ ALSO: How to Stop Fixing the People You’re Attracted To

Some friendships are situational. Some are surface-level. Not every friend is meant to be your “ride or die.” If she’s fun in certain settings but draining in others, adjust your expectations. It’s perfectly okay to enjoy the parts of friendship that work and step back from the parts that don’t.

A male-centred friend may try to shine by downplaying you. Don’t shrink. You deserve to feel confident, appreciated, and respected in every space you enter. Her insecurities shouldn’t become your burden.

If the friendship becomes too toxic with constant embarrassment, backhanded comments, or emotional exhaustion, permit yourself to distance yourself. Protecting your peace isn’t dramatic; it’s healthy. Sometimes stepping back quietly is the most graceful move you can make.

Navigating a friendship with a male-centred friend can be tricky, but it doesn’t have to be chaotic. Once you recognise her behaviour for what it is, which is social conditioning, insecurity, or habit, you can handle it with more calm and clarity. 

The key is balance. Protect your boundaries without losing compassion. Also, remember that your worth isn’t measured by who finds you attractive, nor is hers. Friendships thrive when both people feel respected, seen and secure, and that’s the energy every woman deserves.