‘Women Talk Sex’ is Pulse’s weekly series designed to capture the thoughts of everyday Nigerian women on sexual health, pleasure and what women expect good sex to be and feel like.
Women Talk Sex: 'Condom sex is not as unpleasurable as people say it is'
"People say they hate condom sex only because it’s a popular opinion."
We got into a conversation about condoms with the subject of this week’s ‘Women Talk Sex’ edition, and her opinions are as interesting as they try to take down what she considers to be wrong perceptions of protected sex. Our subject talks about this and more in the story you are about to read below. Read on.
This is usually not my first question but I need to get this off my chest: what do you think of condom sex versus sex without condoms?
I guess I should just say that I actually don’t mind condoms. I know people say a lot about them getting in the way and taking away all or most of the good feelings but most of it is not true. You know how people like to spout a popular opinion so that they can feel among? I feel like that is what forms the basis of the opinions that people mostly have about condom sex.
Yep. You asked for my opinion, that’s what I think. I think most people bash condom sex because that seems to be the cool thing to do. I get it that it’s not the same as skin-to-skin but condom sex isn’t that bad. It can be madly pleasurable in its own way. In fact, if you’re into edging, you’ll know how great condoms can be. ['Edging' aka 'Peaking' or 'Surfing' involves sexual stimulation to the point just before orgasm before stopping or slowing down again. You may repeat this cycle several times before allowing themselves to reach orgasm.]
I mean, isn’t the whole idea of edging to delay your orgasm for as long as possible?
Yeah I guess so
Condoms can also help to play that out na. A partner once said that worked a lot for him.
I dig that. I was also going to -
Sorry. Let me also quickly add that the brand and types of condoms also matters. If you just want maximum pleasure, you can’t go and buy those brands that have crazily thick latex and think you won’t hate yourself. Basically, the ones that are really light and super-thin would do great wonders. Mind you, there are many on the market that would say they are extra thin and super light but may not exactly be so. So you just kind of sift through and find the one that works for you. And not just guys. I think women should have a say, too. This is Women Talk Sex, yeah?
So let my girls know that if a man is using trash condoms, it’s going to affect you, too. It’s just going to make you raw a and the friction will be weird and shit, So you better get into the process as well, even if it means buying the condoms yourself!
Omo, see my life. I can literally hear myself sounding like a condom guru. You’d almost think I’ve tried everything in the market. SMH.
LOL. The game is the game.
I might as well also add - since you seem to have gotten me deep in the conversation anyway - that I mostly find that sex is more pleasurable when you are not thinking of the possible wahala that can result from it like getting pregnant or catching an infection. Condoms can at least allay those fears. Imagine getting knocked up by some random person you are just using for sex. God, please.
God forbid for you
Thank you oh.
So with that out of the way, can I take you back to the beginning and ask about you came about sex for the first time.
My earliest idea of sex was hearing my sister and her friend talking about it on our way from school. We were all in Primary school then, mind you. They were in Primary 5 and I was in primary 4. So that made me curious about it but there was really nothing I could so about that till secondary school but I already got an idea of what sex was and hearing them talk was my first time knowing or hearing anything about sex.
Do you know how she knew about it?
LOL. I know for her? That crazy girl. No wonder she’s as wild as she is now that we’re all grown. The signs were all there since we were kids. LOL.
Tell me about your sex life currently. Where are you with that?
In new-found heaven.
Yup. I stumbled into a situation with someone new last month and we’ve just discovered that our bodies like each other so we’re at that early stage where we’re animalistic in the way we are rushing each other.
Must be nice
Can’t lie. It is. He’s lusting after me so brazenly as if he has never seen a woman before and I am lapping it all up as if I have been starved of sex and attention for decades. It’s kinda like a perfect aphrodisiac.
Okay, First I love it for you. Secondly, since we’re not so far from this condom conversation. How long after you meet someone do you get comfortable enough to go raw?
Uhm. First. Who told you that I didn’t go raw the first time?
Loool. I know it’s a risky and very scary thing to do.
It mightily is
Yeah, I know but sometimes, people get carried away in the heat of the moment. That said, my usual practice is to stay using condoms until I am sure the person is clean and if we’re still hooking up in 3-6 months and the person is clean, sure we can get rid of the condoms. But if I know they are doing it with other people, it never comes off. In an exclusive relationship, of course, things are different.
True. Rate your sex life over 10
If you’d asked me this 2 months ago, it would have been a 6 maybe 7 but for now, it’s a 9 for me. I’m riding that new have hard if you know what I mean.
That’s it. You got it.
Last one, do you what do you need to do to get to a perfect 10?
LOL. Omo, I don’t know o. I fumbled my way up to this 9, I guess I’ll have to wait and see how far that method will take me.
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