When will you marry and other questions Nigerians ask that deserve a clapback

If you're in Nigeria, you'd know that specific questions have become almost ceremonial at family gatherings, weddings, and even casual encounters. Chief among them is the infamous, "When will you marry?"

This question, often posed with a smile, carries layers of cultural expectations and societal pressures. Well, answering the question takes tact and a good level of courage.

In case you've been constantly asked this question and other relatively silly questions, but don't know how to answer, here's a guide.

ALSO READ: How to deal with Nigerian aunties when they ask 'When will you marry?

Hold on, and let's walk you through how to deal with this annoying question.

The Weight Behind the Question

In many Nigerian communities, marriage is not just a personal milestone but a societal expectation. Unmarried individuals, especially women over 30, often face undue scrutiny and are sometimes viewed as incomplete or irresponsible.

This cultural lens places immense pressure on individuals to conform, sometimes at the expense of personal happiness and readiness.

While this is unfair to such individuals, society seems to have accepted it as a norm, and that's why you must learn how to answer and stop people from constantly asking you such questions.

Crafting Your Clapback

Responding to such questions requires a blend of grace, humour, and assertiveness. Some answers won't come off as disrespectful, yet assertive enough to warn the asker to desist from asking such questions again. Here are some of them:

• Humorous Deflection:

"I'm waiting for the perfect Nollywood script to play out in real life."

• Assertive Response:

"I appreciate your concern, but I'm focusing on my personal growth and happiness right now."

• Redirect the Conversation:

"Speaking of milestones, did you hear about the new project I'm working on?"

These responses help maintain your boundaries while keeping the conversation respectful.

Diverse Perspectives

For queer Nigerians, the question of marriage can be particularly challenging. Societal expectations often clash with personal identities, making family gatherings uncomfortable.

One individual shared, "Returning home for Christmas and being at family gatherings was fun when I was much younger.

As an adult, however, it became harrowing... Then talks about marriage started creeping in." Well, the truth is that decisions like this should be left to the real people in it. Older people shouldn't go about intruding into people's business.

ALSO READ: Real Stories: ‘We dated for 6 years, but I'm not so sure I want to marry her’

We all must recognise that personal fulfilment doesn't solely hinge on marital status. Society's traditional benchmarks are evolving, and individual happiness should take precedence.

Embracing Your Journey

Ultimately, the decision to marry or not is deeply personal. While cultural norms have their place, they shouldn't dictate one's life choices. Embrace your journey, set your own timelines, and remember that societal expectations don't define your worth.