Bob Manuel Udokwu Actor and wife reveal secret of their 15-year marriage

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Bob Manuel Udokwu and Wife, Cassandra play

Bob Manuel Udokwu and Wife, Cassandra

(Punch)

In an interview with Vanguard, the veteran actor and politician who alongside his wife celebrated their wedding anniversary at Golden Tulip Hotel, Festac Town, Lagos, revealed the secret to his successful marriage.

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Bob Manuel Udokwu and his wife, Cassandra, celebrated their 15th wedding anniversary last week on February 19, 2015.

In an interview with Vanguard, the veteran actor and politician who alongside his wife celebrated their wedding anniversary at Golden Tulip Hotel, Festac Town, Lagos, revealed the secret to his successful marriage.

Read excerpts of the interview below:

How has the journey been so far?

The journey has been good, interesting sometimes  intriguing. You know when you get hitched with somebody from  different backgrounds, you are two separate individuals but as adults agree to set up a home together. There are bound to be points of friction, disagreement and points of serious agreement as well. You have to find a way to navigate those narrow areas and be able to overcome prejudices, doubts  or influences. The key is dialogue; we talk. If you close the door of dialogue, just  welcome the deterioration of your relationship. We determined from day one to make our marriage work, some don’t  think like that. Some get into marriage for marriage sake. If both parties agree to make things work, it makes things better. I think  that is  what we have done.

When you initially got married, were you shocked at some of the things you discovered about marriage or about your wife?

When I got married,  I was so pleasantly  surprised that I wondered why I didn’t do it earlier. I found out  that it was a beautiful thing  to do. If you don’t get married at a certain stage, you won’t be able to check the excesses that we men have. Beyond your mother, its only your wife that can make you come home at a certain time. You don’t   do things in excess because you have someone who looks after you beyond your mother, somebody you left at home   who cares for you. It’s also a sign of maturity for us as Africans. You grow from  being someone’s child to being someone’s else  husband or wife. It’s a responsibility. Our society thrusts on you and hopes you handle it maturely. When you succeed in marriage, its always very good

What lessons have you learnt in 15 years of your marriage?

I have learnt that being a man you have a huge responsibility not just to your wife, but also to your children. This children come into the world   and see you as their hero. The  very first foundation of life starts from the family. If you don’t get it right, then the society will be worse off for it. The joy of family life is when you see your children grow in life and they are able to do certain things based on the knowledge you pass to them.

For intending couples and those who are already married, what will be your advice to them?

They need to know what they want as couples. Do they want their marriage to work? Do they want people to praise God because of their marriage? That is what we wanted and that is what we have achieved .We believe in dialogue and communication. When you have issues, discuss it among yourselves immediately. Don’t leave it for tomorrow, because when you leave it for tomorrow, seeds of discord might be sowed. Once that seed is being planted, then you start analyzing and digesting. The mind starts  thinking about different things. Communicate when you are together and when you are not together. Marriage is friendship.

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