"My girl left me after I pressured her into having sex with me"

Hello Bukky,

I am at a loss. While I was in the university, I met a girl whom I thought was the love of my life. We broke up barely three months into our relationship, because I said I wasn't going to have sex with her.

I was a virgin and very religious, she said she could not take it and left . Ever since then, I've been at the mercy of my pals. Peer pressure made me give up my virginity, I paid for sex. But that is not my issue right now.

I met this pretty lady in march 2015, I've been in love ever since. She told me no sex before marriage and I agreed. Peer pressure showed its ugly head again. I coerced the love of my life into having sex with me. She warned me that there would be consequences, I didn't budge on my stance.

A week later, she broke up with me, stating I'm not the kind of man she would want to share her life with. I've done everything possible to make her forgive me but to no avail. Please what can i do to get back the love of my life?

Timothy.

---------------

Hi Timothy,

Sexual urges can be hard to overcome, especially when you're sexually active and in a relationship.

First of all, you shouldn't put all the blame on 'peer pressure', if you do that, it means you aren't strong willed which is what you'll need if you want to stay celibate till marriage.

If your resolve is to stay celibate till marriage, it's advisable to take certain precautions so you don't fall into things that'll lead you to breaking that promise to yourself.

Quit watching, listening to things that'll increase the urge for sexual intimacy, minimize contacts with friends you say pressure you into having sex.

As for your girl, go and plead with her since you broke your promise by coercing her into having sex with you.  Make her see that you need her in your life and it's not about sex. Make her understand that she can be more comfortable when you are around each other, give her time to think.

If she agrees to come back to you, then make sure you keep your promise until she's ready. But if she doesn't, I'll advise you to take it as a lesson learned and move on.

I wish you the best.

---

Do you want to talk about your love life, marriage or family? Send a mail to relationships@pulse.ng

Don't be left out, stay updated on relationship tips and advice.

Yours truly!