The most painful thing is having words in your heart you can't utter. Some people will understand while, some won't. He was everything, everything I ever wanted. He was my first love. I can't deny, I never had a first love (smiles) no one can ever deny they never had one but if you still want to deny it, I will explain it to you.

Romantic Affections.

Okay! Your first love is the guy or lady whom you fell in love with for the first time in your life and you daydream at every given opportunity you have, trying to picture and fix him or her in the position of your future husband or wife.

From the moment I saw him, my heart did not listen. But the truth is, he was way out of my league but, it did not stop me neither did it scare me away and I kept on loving him secretly. At that point in time, he was in my every thought. I always hoped for the day, he would show some sign of having feelings for me or being in love with me.

Some of you got the chance to date yours, I never got the chance to date mine not even a moment to express my feelings because, I was afraid of losing his friendship and I thought instead of telling him the truth, I better keep my feelings to myself and keep on loving him secretly. He went to study abroad and has got himself a girlfriend,he must have had something for me but fate took its turn on us. I'm just a mutual friend right now and love became impossible between you us.

Feelings.

(Smiling) It was better that I did not let him know how I felt but, deep in my heart, I was hurting every second (laughing) I listened to love songs each time, cry myself to bed, I even made a wish when I saw a shooting star. When I realised that, not every love story can have a happy ending, the best thing I did was to forget about my love for him and move on which I know was very difficult at that time. I told myself I was not going to forgive him for not understanding that I was in love with him but, right now I do.

At some point, I wanted to let him know about my feelings but I thought it was better he does not know about it?

Someone asked me, if my first love comes back saying he loves me and proposes, if I would accept his offer?

It depends was my reply. I was asked to explain and I said, "if I'm engaged, married or into a serious relationship, I would decline because, I waited for him to realise I was in love with him but, it came too late but, if I'm not married, engaged or into any serious relationship I would accept because, it has always been my dream and desire."

Written by Faith Otu.

Faith Otu is a graduate of Mass Communication. She is a writer and she loves to share/express her feelings, experiences, ideas and more through writing.You can follow her to share your views on her articles: Instagram: @ms_aijohi  Facebook: Faith OtuTwitter: @pweetyaijohi  Blog: goofyshortgirl.wordpress.com