A quiet neighbour by John Heywood

A Quiet Neighbour

Accounted our commodities,Few more commodious reason seesThan is this one commodity,Quietly neighbourèd to be.Which neighbourhood in thee appears.For we two having ten whole yearsDwelt wall to wall, so joiningly,That whispering soundeth through well-nigh,I never heard thy servants brawlMore than thou hadst had none at all.Nor I can no way make avauntThat ever I heard thee give them taunt.Thou are to them and they to theeMore mild than mute – mum ye be.I hear no noise mine ease to break,Thy butt'ry door I hear not creak.Thy kitchen cumbreth not by heat,Thy cooks chop neither herbs nor meat.I never heard thy fire once spark,I never heard thy dog once bark.I never heard once in thy houseSo much as one peep of one mouse.I never heard thy cat once mew.These praises are not small nor few.I bear all water of thy soil,Whereof I feel no filthy foil,Save water which doth wash thy hands,Wherein there none annoyance stands.Of all thy guests set at thy boardI never heard one speak one word.I never heard them cough nor hem.I think thence to Jerusalem,For this neighbourly quietnessThou art the neighbour neighbourless.For ere thou wouldst neighbour annoyThese kinds of quiet to destroy,Thou rather wouldst to help that matterAt home alone fast bread and water.

Glossary

commodities – benefits, advantages

avaunt – boast

butt'ry – buttery, room for storing wines and food

cumbreth – cause inconvenience

soil – sewage

foil – dung, dirt

hem – to clear the throat