‘Thursday night Neymar’, ‘Chris Brown’, ‘Lakaka’ and other hilarious banter names for football players

Football is no doubt a serious business but with some elements of unseriousness in the form of fan-driven banter.

A major part of that are the alternative names given to the players by fans based on varying factors such as their traits, style of play, actions etc.

Those banter names range from clever to basic and in some cases downright offensive but 100% hilarious and here are 10 of the best ones in no particular order.

Dutch winger Memphis Depay got the name ‘Thursday Night Neymar’ because of the similarities in his game to another left winger in Neymar JR, basically calling him a poor man’s Neymar as thursday night is associated with the lower echelons of European football.

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Ousmane Dembele is just as injury prone as he is talented and the cruel nature of his banter name validates that, 'Dembulance' is a play on ambulance combined with Dembele.

Romelu Lukaku’s big money return to Chelsea only lasted one miserable season and the banter name ‘Lakaka’ defines the legacy of the deal. It has no apparent meaning and it isn’t particularly clever either, just funny.

Brazilian central midfielder Andreas Pereira ironically earned the name Pandemic Pirlo not because he even remotely plays like the legendary Andrea Pirlo but simply because they share a position and Pereira is not very good.

Denmark international Martin Braithwaite gets alternatively called Chris Brown because of his facial similarities to the famous American singer.

Hakim Ziyech shares some striking similarities with Riyad Mahrez; they’re both African right wingers who are left-footed, the only problem is that Ziyech falls short of his Algerian prototype in football abilities. 

Ivorian winger Nicolas Pepe has proven to be a flop since joining Arsenal in 2019 for €80 million, prompting Twitter football fans to brand him ECOWAS Rivaldo because he’s West African and bears a bit of similarity to Brazilian winger, Rivaldo.

Brexit Lil Kesh and MBE Youngboy are just some of the hilarious banter names for English forward Marcus Rashford but none is funnier than ‘Brother Theresa’, a play on Rashford’s humanitarian and charitable works in relation to the legendary Mother Theresa.

French striker Alexandre Lacazette hasn’t exactly been prolific with 71 goals in 206 games for Arsenal since joining from Lyon in 2017, prompting fans to cleverly play on his last name to produce a classic banter name.

This one falls under the ‘cruel’ category as Russian midfielder got branded as the Communist Kaka because of his nationality and the similarities he shares with retired Brazilian superstar, Kaka.