The way down

I was beat down several times, over again by it

It was a weapon used against me and I bled,

But I refused to crack and did not run.

The pain was fuel to my desire,

It was a problem and I was the fixer

Never was I to back down.

Steady the ropes, calm the waters all would be well

Back to war I went,

With my drug kit and a shovel.

Little did I know

But off to war I went…

At the war front, I fought for it like my life depended on it.

In hindsight, I was right…

I bled but my drug kit was there to manage the pain,

Patch up the wound, take some painkillers.

If you don’t fight for it, who will?

So I fought till my dying breath!

That last moment, I remember clearly,

As clear and cold as the water in the deep blue sea.

In my last moments- It was there,

In the midst of the chaos.

It walked towards me, how glad I was,

I had won! So I thought.

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The Death

It was right there before me,

Oh! what immeasurable joy filled my heart.

With arms wide open, I hugged my trophy.

I deserved it! I had fought the good fight and won!

As I held onto it, I felt a sharp pain in my chest and a loud sound in my head.

POW!

It shot me.

I clenched on tighter, not willing to let go

But slowly my strength began to fade, and I fell to the ground.

The dust splattered into my eyes and mouth as I hit the ground.

Suddenly it all went dark.

And all I heard was it “I will dig the grave, hand me her shovel”

I was broken- my shovel was to be used to dig my grave.

The last sounds were that of the shovel digging up the ground beside me.

I tried to speak,

But words failed me.

My strength was gone and a bullet rested in my fragile heart.

Without any other choice,

I let go my grip and allowed the darkness take me.

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The Rebirth

There’s a bright light shining into a warm room.

Oddly, I can feel the warmth against my skin!

Where am I?

How am I here?

Is this a trance?

I struggled to open my eyes as they adjusted to the strange light,

My hand goes straight to my chest, I can feel my heart beat.

I’m truly here.

How is this even possible?

Have I been brought back to life?

How? Why?

What sorcery is this?

A second chance?

What shall I do with it?

Hide! Run! & Protect your heart my mind says,

So, I did.

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De JAVU

It’s been years and I’ve successfully protected her- my heart

But I’m afraid something has gone wrong.

I can feel my heart pacing faster,

I cannot identify the trigger,

But there’s something I must run from.

I can sense the danger,

In the background there is a scent of hope.

This is all too familiar,

I know you.

Am I experiencing a de ja vu?

I have seen you before,

In a past life and I have felt you.

I know that scent,

Right before the hope could settle in you reaped away my heart with a bullet!

scare me & I want to run

But subconsciously she is still drawn to the possibility of it.

I’m resisting her but she’s taking over my mind

and I cannot think,

I only feel.

When I try to turn her off she beats faster and faster,

She has absolute control.

She won’t let me let me run,

She won’t let me hide,

She is holding me to ransom.

After all we’ve been through,

You want to take us back here?

What a shame!

She was shot… she bled! The light was taken from her… yet

In the end,

The same heart that was once shot,

That bled,

Still yearns for it.

She still yearns for Love,

Oh! what a mishap.

Written by Eniola Oyekanmi.

Eniola Oyeks is an amateur writer who seeks to inspire people through her writings. She believes the world is full of so much emotions that needs expression. She writes about love, heartbreak, self-identity, self growth, communication, religion, work and loss. Her writings are inspired by her journey and yours, she taps into emotions around her and writes about them like its hers. Instagram: @eniolaoyeks Twitter: @eniolaoyeks