How to be a (wannabe) Lagos fine girl

The young woman in the podcast asked a rhetorical question and it got us thinking about what it means to be a fine girl in Lagos.

From the snippet, another young woman wondered how she would spend N30,000 on makeup for a date and not return home with any extra cash.

At the end of the day, they did not mean a beautiful and classy woman but a wannabe.

Well, I am here to help you recognise the signs of a wannabe Lagos fine girl;

If she had a good job, she would be a Lagos big girl but alas! she doesn’t so she leverages on her face and body. Not having a good job and desiring a glamorous life is the core of a Lagos fine girl life.

The staple of any Lagos fine girl is an iPhone. It is her sole pursuit, once she gets it, she can begin her journey into the world of the big girls because she has arrived. 

Whatever it takes to slay she must do it and if a bone is straight is how to go about it, she gets it- even though she cannot afford it.

She heard that big girls have puppies, she does everything in her power to get one. She does not rest in her pursuit of material things.

Her sole intent is to spend a man's money. 

If you go out with a Lagos fine girl, there should be a sign hung up saying “welcome to billings”.

She expects you to pay for her uber ride, send money for the cloth she will wear on a date and give her money after the date.

Her middle name should be “take me out” because she is eager to go out. When you go out with her, she will order meals like she has been dying of hunger and not pay a dime. 

If peradventure coitus happens, you must give her money. Even if it doesn’t happen, you will still give her money for taking her out of her house.

She always needs money urgently. Keeping up with the Lagos lifestyle isn’t easy? So, she is always needing urgent 2k or 5k or having one emergency or the other. 

The golden triad to immediately spot them. They combined lack of decency and intrusively long nails, long eyelashes and short revealing clothes are common staples.

Her makeup has to be on fleek, she might even engage the services of a professional - even though she doesn't have money.

Her profile on social media is usually popping. She has cute pictures, sexy poses and a ton of followers but oftentimes the lifestyle online doesn’t match reality.

From one club to another party, to another hangout, she barely stays in one place. Always trying to infiltrate the places the actual 'big' girls go and hang out. The restlessness is wild.

The most important thing about a Lagos fine girl is she uses her feminine energy to get what she wants, she doesn't have to pay for anything in life.