'A Grey Fetish' by Ahmad Abdullah

‘Have you watched the fifty shades of grey?’ Mr. Cletus asked his wife.

‘Yes,’ she replied calmly, as they lied down on the bed of their hotel room.

‘When did you watch it?’ he asked, amused that she had actually watched it.

‘I downloaded it last week.’ She wanted to say more but held her tongue.

There was a moment of silence between them. Both of them were watching a pornography movie to spice their dead relationship. They had taken a vacation as a last resort to salvage what was left of their loveless relationship. Mr. Cletus was a successful football coach while his wife was a successful banker. They stared at the tasteless movie they were watching. This was the third day on their vacation and they behaved like the art of lovemaking had been deleted from their brain. Every attempt they made felt so awkward. It was that bad. Both were in their forties and honestly preferred to have extra marital affairs even if the husband was quite more attuned to this. The few ventures the wife has had have been quite exclusive.

‘What do you think of a threesome?’ Mr. Cletus delivered off the weight he had been trying to shed from his mind. It seemed quite right to offload it now since his wife had watched the movie about exploring the grey areas of lovemaking.

‘It sounds exciting!’ Mrs. Cletus replied without a moment of thought.

‘What!’ Mr. Cletus sprung like a panther from his supine position in a flash. He peered down at his wife who had a sheepish grin on her face. For the first time in a long time they seemed to be on the same wavelength.

‘As long as I choose though,’ Mrs. Cletus shot her husband a wide eye that was a stamp of approval and understanding.

‘How about now,’ he nudged his wife out of the bed. She stepped out of bed in the twinkle of an eye, dressed up and blew a kiss to her husband.

‘I can’t believe it took this long to find we had the same passion,’ she whispered to her husband erotically.

‘As long as you don’t come with a guy, I’m all good.’ Mr. Cletus used the opportunity to clarify his desire with a serious but tepid smile on his face.

‘Common! We are on the same page darling, I won’t disappoint.’ She eased her husband’s concerns and went out of the hotel room.

Mr. Cletus stood from his bed and jogged round the living room. He did some sit-ups, gobbled two glasses of yogurt and skipped a little. He took a shower and sprayed cologne all over himself awaiting his wife’s arrival. He remembered his most recent sex escapade and got assuredly aroused. He felt a slight tug on his arm and suddenly jousted up.  He had dozed off and hoped all wasn’t a dream; however, his wife’s beautiful face sprinkled a corny smile at him that hinted she was successful. He gently pushed her aside and what he saw elicited the greatest scream that a man’s throat could muster.

‘What the hell is that Alsatian doing in the room?’ he stammered, alarmed and in a state of alerted stupor, as he retreated to the farthest part from the menacingly looking dog.

‘This is Suzie; she is going to be our partner.’

‘What! Has the devil mutilated you all of a sudden!’ he spat out with a fury that confined him further out of the dog’s sight and continued in the most gentle manner his wife never knew he could muster. ‘What do you mean by partner, I thought we both agreed to spice things up? If you wanted a man, you should have requested.’

‘No darling, Actually, I have a sexual fetish for animals called faunoiphilia, I’m sure you can deal with it!’ She replied with finality while the dog amazingly ‘cat-walked’ towards her husband! And of all the times that a man has shouted, twice on this romantic night, her husband gave a galaxy record.

Ahmad Abdullah, AKA Ahmad Holderness is a medic and a writer who is about to be published. He is the director of Home Of Book foundations that seek to help Nigerian youths to read and write better. His writings can be viewed at  and you can follow him on instagram at @home_of _books_foundation

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