Dating in Lagos: 5 people talk about talking stages

What is a talking stage? A talking stage is a relatively new term that gained popularity among young people.

It means a guy and a girl are ‘just talking’ and evaluating each other in preparation for a relationship.

Well, the rules of a talking stage are all up in the air but the fact remains it is a pre-relationship stage. 

No one knows what exactly they owe the other party, should there be any form of commitment or exclusivity? 

It is easy to bail at this point because nothing concrete has been said about a relationship. 

I asked some people about talking stages and some red flags in a talking stage.

For David, most of his talking stages do not lead to a relationship but he thinks talking stages are important.

“You get to find out if you are dealing with a complete psycho.”

David had to run away from some women during a talking stage because of “Billings!” She wasn’t a Christian or is bipolar.

Suzy has had her talking stages lead to relationships. For Suzy, “a talking stage is not a relationship. I hate when I just meet a guy, I am talking to him and he is already saying "my love" or ‘’my dear.’ It puts me off because I do not know him like that."

"One time I met a guy and we had only spoken for a short period and he was already telling me he wants us to have a weekend getaway. I knew that was an indirect way to ask for sex and I don't like that."

Suzy also doesn’t like guys who abbreviate in texts. “I can’t date such a guy.” She said. I find out that I don’t vibe with some guy and we have different interests in a talking stage.

Tolu says he doesn’t do talking stages with people he wants to date, just people he wants to have a sexual relationship with. But he does have one red flag which he completely detests and that is smoking.

For Tope, talking stages are just for fun, “I find it interesting to find out things about people and I am like wow you did that."

He never really enters a relationship with any of his talking stages, “I know that the energy will wane if we do not enter a relationship soon and I wait for that.”

Sharon is just like Tope, “I start talking stages because I am bored.” She says, “I am not ready for a relationship.”.

For some people they actually evaluate if they want to be a relationship in a talking stage but for others it is just for fun.