It's been four years but he still won't come see my parents!

Dear Bukky,

I am 29 and he is 33. We have been dating for close to four years now. When he proposed to me I told him I had a child who was four years old then. The father of my child left me with the baby and travelled abroad and I haven't been hearing from him since.

I was under pressure from my mom to settle down with another man and get taken care of alongside my daughter, since my daughter and I were becoming a burden for her.

Since I didn't want to go that path, I decided to get another job aside the regular one I was already doing so I can gather enough money to rent a place, live independently and take of my daughter.

My boyfriend was very loving and supportive, accepted me and my child. After I got the place, even though he supported me but I took care of most of the expenses, I relocated from my mom’s house.

Initially, he comes and goes on weekends. But got to a time, he got comfortable and has been staying with us for close to two years now at my place.

I felt it was time to make our relationship formal by going to see my parents but he hasn't done that.

I've pleaded with him severally but he's being reluctant to do so. I want to tell him to leave my house but I can't because I love him. And he's been so caring and supportive. I've been patient all this while but I'm not getting any younger, I'm heading towards 30 and I want to do the right thing before I start having kids.

I've tried everything, I'm getting fed up. Should I break up with him? I'm confused.___________

Dear reader,

Have you asked him why he’s refusing to commit to you? Without a knowledge of why he’s dragging his feet you may not understand the best course of action to take.

If you have already asked and he seems to have good reason, yeah, sure, it’s time to cut it but until then you may want to hold on.

You spoke of a desire to be taken care of – you and your daughter - what if he’s reluctant to commit because he feels yet incapable of taking care of you both?

And if you say he’s been a great man so far except for his reluctance to come see your parents, I think you should exercise a little more patience.____________Do you want to talk about your love life, marriage or family issues?

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