Hard Guys or Soft Guys? 10 Nigerian women tell us their preference

‘Women like bad boys’ is one of the relationship things we have become used to hearing. Sometimes the idea is expressed with other statements like ‘If you’re too good, women won’t take you seriously,’ or ‘soft ni**as are just too boring’, among others. Cast your mind to the non-stop chatter around the Future-Ciara-Russel Wilson situation, for extra context.

Anyway, we are not sure of where this idea came from or how valid it really is with Nigerian babes. So we asked 10 women to tell us if hard/bad guys are their spec or if they’d rather have a soft/good guy.

*Jadesola, 27

Once he has sense, and he is godly, I’m good. Count me out on bad boys o, or bad looking boys. Call me Mummy GO, I don’t care. But please and please, just be responsible, love the Lord and have a stacked pocket. In fact, if you are the churchy, pastor type sef, I don’t mind.

Mo, 26

Omo, for me I’d say just be responsible. Bad guys are just dumb and soft guys annoy me. All those nonsense sweet talks irk me cos I am too stressed for it. Responsible thoughtful men that are intentional with actions and words are my type. Could be sending me period package, work tools, or things that would meet my needs at the specific times I need them. So I will say not too soft and not too hard is my spec.

Eve, 22

It depends on how bad the guy is. A criminal is a NO NO. But if we are talking tattoos, piercings, smoking and drinking... well I get attracted to those. But basically, it is not really about how bad... it is more like how experienced this guy is sexually and other things. I perceive that bad guys are sexually open, so with them, anything goes; while good guys probably just want to stick to basics Bad guys are simply more adventurous and fun to be with for me.

Dammy, 25

Men have shown me too much pepper already. Please if you are coming into my life now, I need you to be a breath of fresh air. Be soft like today’s bread, I’m begging you. I have had guys that are hard like yam and they hooked my throat. I no do again.

*Precious, 23

I like a mix of both. Bad boys give you headaches. So, I’ll say be bad but don't be too bad lol. Guys that have a tough exterior but are soft inside. Like, bad guy but super soft with me.🥺🥰

Madonna, 20

I’m a soft babe, please. So I like soft men. Read me poems, load me with sweet words and plenty paragraphs, be free to tell me how you feel… do mushy, corny things with me. That’s what I love oh. None of that hard guy parole, abeg.

Bisade, 24

Whatever you are, just don’t treat me like shit. I think that’s what I’m about. I like guys with good looks, nice bodies, tats, earrings and all of that. I also don’t mind someone who doesn’t have any of that. So far he doesn’t dress like a homeless person or have bad breath or anything like that. So if you are not treating me like a lesser person because I’m a woman or stopping me from living my life, then I think you are a good guy and that’s what I’ll be attracted to.🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️

Chioma, 26

I like guys that people will ordinarily call bad —the tattoos, the dreads, smoking and drinking. So far he has a good heart and is kind, then I’m down. I have never been attracted to boring men in suits and ties sha. But there was also one time when I was attracted to a guy with a drug dependency problem. I ran away so I wouldn't become addicted, too.

Nikky, 28

Who does not like peace of mind? Please o. Don’t bring any of that toxic rubbish near me. Who has time for wickedness and childish behaviour in 2022? Abeg be soft and have plenty sense. I am here for a soft life.

Ifeoma, 31

This is relative sha. There are bad guys and there are badddd guys. The bad guys are the adventurous, spontaneous ones who also know the right words to sweep a woman off her feet. Some of them put up a front to keep their reputation but when they meet that perfect girl that has their mumu button... it's over. They will be do everything to please her. That’s the type I fall for.

Then there are badddd guys who just do terrible things, over protective, and even toxic in the way they love. I mean, they can love too... everybody get their spec... but this type is not for me.

*Asterisked names are of respondents who want to stay anonymous.