Pulse Blogger Dating and the African child

Just from the topic, Fathers may not be interested in reading my blog , I think though, that fathers and mothers should!

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African Teenager

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Just from the topic, Fathers may not be interested in reading my blog , I think though, that fathers and mothers should!

Dating is alien to the African culture, or is it? My page has been visited by a number of teenagers who want to know “when is the right time to start dating?’

There are a number of Psychologists, who agree that the dating age should be twelve and a half years for girls and thirteen and a half years for boys.

Now before you raise a defense, let us discuss what dating means in the western culture.

Boys and girls are encouraged to socialize as part of a group; they go as a group to watch movies, attend shows etc. Group dating is what most experts encourage from the age of twelve and a half, for girls and thirteen and a half for boys. It is my opinion that a Chaperone at this stage might be good idea. Now a Chaperone, here, is not meant to act as a CCTV for your wards, if you did your homework properly, you wont have much to worry about (that again is my opinion!).

Parents have this fear of their children becoming romantically involved at an early age, and rightly so, I mean there many stories that have emanated from early dating. However, we should bear in mind that it is important for our wards to socialize, especially in the days of technology awareness that we live in.

We provide everything that we think they need, within the confines of their bedrooms, so much so that most of them don’t even see the sun, and when they are “of age” we become worried that they do not have “boyfriend or girlfriend “ as the case may be. The truth is that social skills like every other skill known to man have to be developed over time.

I think the age of sixteen is safe to allow the teen to participate in a “ One-to One “ dating. I am of the opinion that we can’t take one rule and apply to all our children! No one should know a child like the parent (although we know that this applies only in an ideal situation). There are some children that will need a Chaperone at twenty-two, if you know what I mean! You must always consider their level of maturity and responsibility. That will be your responsibility!

I understand that it is difficult to accept dating in what we believe our culture accepts, but cant “cage” our children and then start harassing them at 23 to go and find a mate; from where? And why do we think our ancestors never dated? A grandfather tells me stories about when he was a teenager, he will invite some girl to attend a festival with him..wetin be dat ? He will escort her back to her house after the festival and the girl’s mother will invite him in to take “ garri and kulikuli”. They went to school together and he always escorted her back to her house, after school.

Call me wrong, but I just think that assuming the Ostrich position concerning your teenagers, might turn out to be a terrible idea, allow them to socialize, date, tell you about their relationships, always be there to advice, pray along and sometimes just keep quiet and listen. Because if they are not able to talk with you about these things, they will be talking, I assure, to some else. How you think you can harass them about marriage when you were never involved in their “love lives “ beats me.

Auntybspeaks.com gud to talk.

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