How Starboy approaches love in different ways on “Sounds From The Other Side”

I’ve encountered two different forms of masculine-feminine love in Nigeria, broadly speaking. The first are those who focus on the beauty that lies in the purity of its existence, and approach it based on romance, and all the happy and deep feelings. The other group is comprised of people who are gripped by the sexual gratification that comes with such a deep relationship. They obsess over it as a measure and symbol of what love truly entails.

One set is about the emotion, the other go straight to the genitals.

My friend ‘T’ (who I have changed his name to prevent you people from taking advantage of his pure heart) is a member of the first set. He was raised by all the influences in his life to recognize the beauty of love as an act of human sacrifice and emotional enjoyment. He meets a girl, and tells her about his fantasies of walking down fields of sunflower, watching the sun rise up on her face, and sharing the silence with her, even when she is angry at his behaviour. He does this to ‘every woman’, regardless of the nature of that person. Everything leads back to human connectivity and the beauty within our hearts.

Another friend, who I will name ‘D’ (because of his fascination with the exploits of his penis or dick) is the opposite of T. His idea of love is wrapped in sex and all the pleasures of the flesh. He approaches the subject with his penis in his hand, offering it as the full manifestation of his desire towards a woman. I remember him complaining about a girl who told him she loved him, but would rather not engage his little guy.

“How can she say she loves me and does not want to feel me? Who that one epp?” He rambled with frustration. “If we love ourselves, we have to sleep with each other.”

Over time, I continued to meet people who were cut from these two broad schools of thought. I once heard a man in Port Harcourt say the only thing he wants from his love interest, is to have her smile light up his world. While another in Abuja told me he feels most connected with his wife under the sheets.

It’s 2017. And I have encountered the same polarity of Nigerian love in the music that I have consumed all through this week. The best Nigerian project this year is arguably Wizkid’s “Sounds From The Other Side.” Which was released on July 14, 2017. The project which is more popular for the diversity in its sound style, is also a labour of love. Via 12 tracks and a running time of 40 minutes, Wizkid simply takes all of that time to express love to a woman.

Every song on the project is Starboy addressing a woman about his desire for her. And he does this in many ways which fits directly into the Nigerian definition of love.

It’s no secret that Wizkid loves the ladies. He is both romantic and sexual in his encounters with women, flipping through different states like a Jekyll and Hyde transformation. He is the father of two children, gotten through his sexual escapades. It’s almost the juiciest and most dominant narrative of his relationships with women.

But there’s also his romantic engagement with Tania Omotayo that has read out like a soap opera. Wizkid and Tania’s love have been a story of romance, sacrificial bonding, and pure human feelings.

All of these are contained in “Sounds From The Other Side.”

There are moments on the project where Wizzy speaks of needing just the feeling of human love. (“Give me sweet love…Give me my love.”) On ‘African bad gyal’, he preaches acceptance and inclusion with the pre-chorus: “African bad gyal, Baby, don't change your style. Girl, I love you the way you are.” But the deepest line is found on ‘One for me’:“When you leave me that's a minus. Say together we're a stronger soul…Baby girl you're a kiss from a rose. Say your love like a kiss from a rose, Girl just love me I swear I nor boast.”

And that is why Wizkid appeals to everyone’s emotion. He serves it right.

The coin is flipped many times and a darker, sexual beast is revealed. Wizkid loves sensual music, and he nestles it tightly on this project. “Daddy Yo”. The entire song is a syrupy brag about his sexual machismo and bedroom brilliance.

“I got a lotta song, she sing so. I make her meter blow uh-ooh-oh. Na my song she dey sing so. She never ever dull uh-ooh-oh.”

‘Nobody’ has him surrendering control and allowing the lady lead the way as they ride along to carnal heaven: “She tell me not to rush. She tell me she will love me every day without remorse. She tell me she will give me to me rough. She will give will give me to me nice and slow…”

But the sweet spot between love and sex is achieved on ‘Sexy’. Using Afrobeat instrumentals, he expresses his sexual desire in a non-sexual manner that any woman would love. He abandons the act, and focuses on her body, while Efya provides a balance with sexy background vocals. The bridge on that record carries the beauty of the lyrics.

“What you tell your woman when you wake in the morning? Make you tell am, you love am, you miss am, you wanna kiss am, you need am, ha! Tell am all the nice tings.”

But here’s a little disclaimer. Wizkid can have a dominant approach to love. Although the lyrics of his music can swing both ways, you can never truly construe how he treats women by his music alone. But it’s the information that his art reveals.

So what does this mean for him and for his fans who consume his music? What is the right or wrong way that he is telling us all to approach love? Is one more superior to the other? Which is more fulfilling? Which is ideal for the Nigerian human experience?

There’s no clear way to approach love. There are always two sides to everything, and human behaviour is nuanced and always contextual. When you become too focused on sex, you might lose the ability to enjoy other enriching parts of your partner, and that affects everyone negatively. But we can also admit that sex has its uses.

My friends T and D, can both look to Wizkid for inspiration in “Sounds From The Other Side.” Love can be both sexual and intangible, depending on what side of the coin you belong to. But no side should be abandoned over each other. They mostly go hand in hand. Sometimes you need to appreciate the warmth in your lady’s smile, and at other times, her booty feels like priceless art.

There’s always value in expression, no matter how you look at love, and you as a person can find happiness in any approach you choose.  Perhaps that’s the true message of “Sounds From The Other Side.”