5 Top Stories You Might Have Missed About Nigerian Music

Hi Folks, here are the top trending stories emanating from the Nigerian music industry. Here we have the news, the not-so news, and the things that regular journalists always miss…with a dash of sarcasm and stupidity.

It’s the second coming of the most high….I mean the most high DJ to ever walk the face of international Hip hop.  His name is Tim Westwood, and he is such a nice guy.

After Pulse brought in the maestro from the UK to come have fun at Industry Nite and Pulse VIP Night last April, the dude is making another coming to Naija, and this time, he’s taking no prisoners. It’s a special turn up, and you can read more here. I would have preferred James Bond though. 007 beats DJ Tim, and he’s more handsome.

If you haven’t laughed at the headline, then let’s push those buttons harder. If you find yourself reading this right now, then it’s only becaue you are hoping to have some Wizkid, Davido, Tiwa Savage, or if it’s too bad, then Durella.

Of course you don’t want Ras Kimono, Victor Essiet, Majek Fashek, or... wait for it, Righteous Man. But these dudes have hunger in their eyes (I mean literally), and anger in their hearts. They intend to make one final push for the top of Nigerian music. They are threatening fire and brimstone, and talking heavy about bringing salvation via reggae to plague our hearts and make us kill ourselves with conscious music. But who cares about weed-smokers and our fathers’ age-group singing about Babylon and redemption? Not me.

But if you care, then you will find it here…. Just be sure to cross yourself and pray for forgiveness after you do.

Sorry, I meant to say Majek Fashek will release another album next year. The man who loves weed more than  oxygen plans to smoke a million packs of weed, drop 2 singles this year, and then find the strength and finances to record, publish and market a full album. But that will only happen if he can find a way to sneak himself into Goodluck Jonathan’s presidential campaign train.

I hear they offer weed and free booze in Aso Rock. It’s Majek’s promised land, and if you want to follow him through the desert then join his march here…

Femi Kuti is in love right now, and he has chosen an underage woman to be his bride. After all his well-documented marriages and divorces, the son of Fela Kuti has found a way to fall in love again, professionally. And Chocolate City, young and pretty, who have been batting her eyelashes at the veteran for some time now, has decided to say yes to the elderly man.

They both have signed an agreement to manage themselves. Chocolate City will manage Femi Kuti in Nigeria. But trust one commenter by the name of Abubakar-sadiq Obatomi, he keeps screaming, ‘Femi is old, he should be managing Chocolate City, not the other way round!’. I think there is some sense in his concern. Educate and console him here.

None. There is no difference between Jay Z and that Yoruba rapper Olamide. We at Pulse Music believe so, and you can’t do anything to change our minds. Anything!

Well you can argue that Jay Z is uglier and is married to the world’s most commercial sex goddess, while Olamide is a handsome Lagos hustler, who is married to his goons, but there is no difference between them. We stubbornly believe so, but you can attempt to listen to our side of the story and change our minds here.