What to do when he pulls away

When the man we love starts to withdraw, it can be one of the most painful experiences. Most times we start to worry and fret thinking that his love for us is probably waning. The pain in our chest become unbearable and we feel like we cannot breathe. "He is the love of my life....If he stops loving me my life is over" With that type of mindset we walk around in the everlasting fear of him just waking up one day and falling out of love with us.

Having this feeling is not necessarily a bad thing. Its the way life is. When we experience something truly great, we are constantly afraid that it will end. Therefore, the feeling is not to be condemned. It is how we react to those feelings that really matter. So you feel like your boyfriend is pulling away and it makes you feel sad, worried and hurt. The entitled behaviour borne of selfishness kicks in and you get somewhat angry. "He is supposed to always be there when I need him" "How can he pull away? Doesn't he know I need him". And then after the anger comes the most common reaction with us women. Passive aggresive.

You decide to "pay him back in his coins". You start to act up and hold out parts of yourself from him. "Two can play that game". This is by far the biggest mistake ever. First let's ask ourselves... why does he withdraw? Could there be the slightest chance that his love for you has nothing to do with it? Could it be possible that he still loves you very much but just needs to take care of urgent things?

See most times we worry over absolutely nothing. A man must be a man. He is a fixer, a provider and a protector. If he does not reflect this in his everyday life, he will start to feel like a failure. The insight here is not that he has to fix, provide and fight for you. No, the insight is that he doesn't do that for only you! As the woman of his life there are things that he will take care of. However, he also has family members, friends, colleagues who rely on him to show up in one way or the other. And make no mistake, this does not relate to money alone. Time, energy and physical contributions are required of him. So sitting down and pouting that his world doesn't revolve around you is just outright selfish.

So what do you do when he starts to pull away? Stop the feeling of entitlement in its tracks and let him be. Yes, you heard me...Give him space to sort out whatever he needs to. Not in a mean and hurtful way. Show him that he has your trust and support while you give him space. He will love you more for it and strive his hardest to show you.