The business of relationships

A little while ago I engaged a friend in conversations about life and being young entrepreneurs and in the course of our discussion, we had deviated into the relationship talk and how she hard it seemed to find the kind of man that she wanted. As I went about the rest of my day I began to realise that Relationships are like businesses.

How? Relationships are no joke and should be taken seriously.

1. Who am I and what am I passionate about?

It is expected that when you want to start a business you should be able to determine what you are interested in and what you are passionate about. This requires a level of self-discovery; there is no need starting a business in something you do not like because failure is inevitable.

This is applicable to relationships as well because when you know what you like and have a firm sense of what your values, principles, priorities and much more are you are able to cast your net properly. At this point you should have determined what your life goals, dreams, and aspirations are, this should help you separate the chaff from the wheat.

2. What do I need?

I remember in SS1 when my economics teacher kept drumming into our ears that “WANTS ARE MERE DESIRES .......” I might want a meat feast pizza and Coldstone to step it down but actually need 1 hour on a treadmill.

Now that you know who you are and what you intend to achieve in life, you should determine what you NEED and not what you WANT.

Take for example; you believe a woman’s place is in the kitchen and not the board room, PLEASE WHY TOAST JANE THE MANAGING DIRECTOR OF......? Determine what you need and like a business venture, spend your money (in this case, time, emotion, energy, kiss, money...) on what you NEED and not what you WANT.

It might seem like the WANT relationship is working out perfect, but remember that WANTS are temporary and that is why you have some married people resenting their partner years after. Also remember that people will work hard to keep what they NEED but are more than willing to discard what was merely a WANT

3. What are the conditions?

Marriage is a contract, terms and conditions apply. In business you will have to agree with other parties on different issues and opportunities, this is why oyinbo made contracts.

Unlike those mobile app terms you fail to read and just accept, PLEASE read this one oh. While you are dating someone you get to know them more, you study them well and understand their Principles on different life issues. When you know that the relationship is getting serious, you guys should start talking about all the things you expect from the other party.

This is where you should mention to him that 8 children are too much and you only want 3; this is where he should let you know that you are required to quit your  job and stay at home ones you start having kids. A lot of people are usually so wrapped up in loving the other party and sometimes enjoying the gifting, vacation, Sex that they forget to get things straight.

4. Audit

Now that you know what you need and your business has started, once in a while, you need to sit down and audit your spending, processes, decision making and much more.

You and Mr handsome have been together for almost a year now and its time to put  pros and cons to book.  Ask yourself;

Am I gaining anything from this relationship (career, material, emotion, sex, love, self-worth, spiritual growth e.t.c)?

Is my partner gaining anything out of this relationship (career, material, emotion, sex, love, self-worth, spiritual growth e.t.c)?

Are there any parts of my life suffering because of this relationship?

Am I achieving my goals and dreams?

Am I learning anything from this?

Only you can answer these questions and the more truthful you are to yourself the better

5. Resolve

Now that you have done your audit, you are required to improve or fix your failures and work harder at maintaining success.

If you have truthfully audited your relationship, this is the point where you either fall in love all over or you pack your things and go. It is important to move on while you still can before you are confined by marriage (I believe you can still leave after marriage anyways).  Make your decision and stand by it. Find what you NEED and enjoy it.

If you have to move on, do it with your shoulders held high because you just realised you are a Designer’s Original and you cannot settle for Knock-offs. Don’t stay where you do not belong or where you are not appreciated so your matter doesn’t end up on JORO OLUMOFIN’S page.

If you have any thoughts on this, please share as I’ll love to read

Written by Jumai