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In the west, for instance, it is common for people to get married and decide not to ever children. They are happy like that!

But if one tries that within our context, I am reminded of one of the King of Afro beat's dongs "na palava e go find."

Adoption is a concept that has been in existence for many centuries. According to history, the Babylonians introduced the concept into their system before 2220 BC. And centuries later, its relevance is highlighted in the Ancient Rome, the Middle East, Ancient Egypt, Greece and parts of Africa.

The story of the adoption of Moses, by Pharaoh's daughter, is told in one of the Holy books.

The concept of adoption appears to satisfy two primary needs. Firstly, it enables the couple who for any reason cannot have children naturally, become parents.

Secondly, it provides a home and family for a child who does not have.

The Nigerian social welfare recognises and accepts the concept of adoption as a viable option for children who will otherwise have no means of being in a family.

It has therefore been in existence for a long time, even within this context.

However, it is still in the process of carving its niche within the Nigerian communities.

This is because of some complexities emanating from our culture, values and beliefs. I recently had a chat with a couple who had been married for over a decade but had no child.

I brought up the concept of adoption and the man's reply was that he won't be able to adopt a child because he could have some genetic or demonic predispositions that might show up after he has invested in his upbringing! Wow!

How selfish can one be? I was upset at this response and retorted "are we asking you to adopt from Mars?" one would think he was describing an extra-terrestrial adoption!

Another issue that prevents us from adopting, is “what will people say."  Yes! That was the question the wife asked me. I felt for her. Only God knows what she has gone through.

How many times she has cried herself to sleep? What she heard that “people said“ about her. The story of Hannah, in the Bible comes to mind.

And in this society, it is always the “wife’s fault“... I remember one of the prayers I heard when I was getting married "eyin iyawo, o ni mo eni, " literally means that the back of the wife will not know the mat.

So, you see, with or without tests, she has been declared guilty, useless, incapable by neighbors, in laws and "gbe b'oruns."

I gently asked her "what do you want?"  she let out a stifled so. Of course we knew what she wanted! She wanted the same thing she’d always wanted for many years, she wanted a child.

I then told her after a few minutes of silence, that it didn't matter what anyone said. Because even then, when she had done nothing, people were still talking.

I think there should be more awareness on the concept of adoption. After all it's not who birthed a child but who raised him that is called daddy and mummy.

Can a baby come out of the womb and cry "mummy"? For a number of parents in waiting, adoption might be your option...

If you feel it is, then like the Nike advert says... Just do it!

AuntyBspeaks.com gud to talk!