Marriage is not about material things, but love and patience

Marriage as we all know is the legal contract or union between two consenting adults.

However, for this couple, Mr and MrsMark M. Yilbuk, it goes beyond mere words or routine - it's about love, respect and patience for God's will.

Speaking to Leadership newspaper, the couple tell their love story and how they've managed to stay married for over two decades.

Read excerpts of the interview below:

We met in , Local Government of , in November 1992. Thereafter, we started relating as friends and began to grow in our love for each other. Then, I went to their family house to meet her parents and tell them about the love I have for their daughter. Though they did not accept my proposal easily, I did not give up and continued to pressurise them until I was able to get their approval.

To say the truth (burst into uncontrollably laughter), the first day I met him, I didn't like him. That was just the truth even though he tried to convince me, I stood my ground. But he did not stop there, he kept on coming to our house and whenever I saw him, I would just disappear and go into the room. My mother would insist that I see him, but I always said no, I was not ready to marry. He maintained his patience and continued to come to our house whether I was around or not. I saw our marriage as a divine will of God. Whatever God has planned for you, nobody will stop it from coming to pass. So, since it was the will of God that he should be my husband, there was nothing I could do. I had to accept him. We continued the relationship rather jokingly though I still did not believe that he was the right man for me, but today we are one and I thank God for that.

It was the love I had for her that kept me going. She is was the kind of person I was looking for and from the very day I saw her, I knew we were meant to complement each other. I thank God for our life and I have no regret in insisting that it must be her. You can't say that because the tongue and teeth are in the same mouth they don't have problems, but whatever problems they have will certainly not stop them from living in the same mouth. Not that we have problems, but whatever problem or challenge we face, we are able to manage within ourselves without any third party involved.

I give God all the glory, and I really thank God for making me to realise that this man is my husband. Whatever God has made for you, nobody will take it away from you. I have no regrets marrying him because if not him, I don't think any man would have tolerated me with all my short comings for these long years of our marriage. We waited for six years after my marriage before God gave me my first and only child, and up till now I am still living with that child, but I thank God. It is not easy to see a man like him, that would be willing to accept, tolerate you and bear all your pains with you without hearing him complain one day.

Sometimes, the love you have for the person is because of what you saw in that person. For me, marriage is not about material things. We do have problems, but yet we are still together simply, because we believe that one day God will give us what we want and provide us our needs. I have never thought of changing my marriage just because I don’t have as many children as I want or as other people have.

My advice to young couples, particularly those who have challenges in their marriage, is to believe in God and put Him first in anything they do. They should learn how to be patient because you can't have a peaceful home without being patient with one another. In our case, for instance, we have been together for 22 years and as I am speaking to you, we are living with only one child which God blessed us with. But I have never once thought of trying another woman. For some people, it is difficult for them to endure and wait for God's time. If you truly love each other and have respect for Almighty God, while can't you endure it. There is nothing any man or woman can do without the favour of God. Whoever is facing this kind of challenge in their marriage should please be patient and prayerful. God would surely locate you.

Most of the time friends, because they advise you on what to do and you will think they are telling you the right thing to do. The person you are staying with is your best friend. Your wife or husband will never plan evil for you because it will also affect him or her. But instead of you to listen to the advice of the person you are living with, you decide to follow friends, as a result, there would be no peace in your home and your house will definitely collapse.

(They both look at each and laugh before she comes up). Since I married him, he has never cheated or hidden anything from me. We do everything together. There is nothing he will do without asking for my advice. I'll advise accordingly and if he feels it is good for the family, he follows it. Likewise, before I do anything, I must first and foremost seek his approval and suggestion before going ahead with it.

If he does anything wrong to me, I tell him instantly that I don't like it, he says sorry and we continue our life together.