Stuck In A Situationship? Here’s How To Turn It Into A Real Relationship

It starts with vibes, and next, you’re texting every day, talking like lovers, maybe sleeping together. But when it’s time to define things, they hit you with, “Let’s just go with the flow.” And just like that, you’re in what Gen Z now calls a situationship. Not quite a relationship, but way past casual.

You may cook for him, visit her house regularly, even attend family events together, and still not be “official.”

But what if you actually want more? Can a situationship become a real relationship? The answer is yes, but only if you're willing to stop pretending, start talking, and face what’s real.

READ MORE: 9 Signs You're In A 'Situationship'—And How To Get TF Out

1. Do I really want a relationship with this person?

Before you start planning how to “upgrade” the situationship, pause and reflect.

Are you chasing clarity because you genuinely want a committed relationship with them, or because you’re tired of feeling unsure? Sometimes, we confuse fear of being alone with desire. Ask yourself: Do I even like this person outside the comfort, routine, or physical chemistry?

If yes, then read on.

2. Be honest about your feelings

This is the scary part, but it’s also the most important. You can’t “vibe” your way into a committed relationship. If you want more, say so. And not in hints or passive-aggressive tweets. Have a real conversation.

Start with something like, “I really enjoy what we have, but I’d like to know if we’re on the same page about where this is going.” It opens the door without being confrontational.

If they hesitate, dodge, or say “I don’t want to label this,” you already have your answer.

RELATED: 5 signs your situationship is turning into something serious

3. Don’t settle for “maybe”

One of the biggest mistakes people make is hanging around in the “Let’s see where it goes” zone for too long.

If someone wants to be with you, they will. Nobody is too busy to commit, they’re just not committing to you. Harsh, but freeing.

If they’re not ready to give a clear yes after a reasonable amount of time (weeks, not years), respect yourself enough to walk away.

4. Change how you show up

Sometimes, we keep feeding a situationship by acting like a girlfriend or boyfriend without asking for the title. You’re always available, you prioritise them, you even skip dates with other people. But you’re not “together.”

If you want more, you’ll need to start creating some space. Let them feel what life is like when you’re not always there. Respect yourself. Date other people. Build a life that doesn’t revolve around them.

It’s not about manipulation, it’s alignment. If someone values you, they’ll rise to meet you. If not, you move forward.

5. Have a timeline and stick to it

You don’t need to issue ultimatums, but you do need boundaries. How long are you willing to stay in this space before things evolve or end?

Give yourself a private deadline. It could be 3 weeks or 3 months, but decide. If the relationship hasn’t moved forward by then, you reassess.

Time is precious, don’t waste yours waiting on someone who’s unsure about you.

READ MORE: Ladies: 8 reasons you keep ending up in toxic relationships

Know when to let go

Not every situationship is meant to become a relationship. And that’s okay. It doesn’t mean you’re not lovable. It means you were brave enough to want clarity, to have self-respect, and to walk away if necessary.

You deserve someone who doesn’t hesitate when it comes to you. Someone who isn’t scared to call you theirs publicly, proudly, and without conditions.

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