Four, five months (After)

I like my job. Yes, the money is never enough, but I’m grateful and content with it. People confuse being content and being satisfied a lot and sometimes, and I can understand why. People tend to think of the long term, and that is okay but I think considering all the possibilities, letting just the victory of now be enough is a good way to go about ones journey on this earth.

My job involves one of the great pleasures of my soul – writing. It’s a business of information and I get to disseminate it to the general population, sometimes even before it’s on Twitter or Facebook. The good thing about all this is that I get to hear or find out about things - usually days before most people hear about it – and I get to read some of the most awesome articles you would ever find anywhere. I’ve always loved to read and while I’ve not exactly been a beacon of light lately, sometimes I do manage to will myself into a book. Apart from writing, I also get to attend events, best part of which is meeting people and eating any food I can find while I’m at it. Each person out there is a living, walking library of tales and thoughts, and I just think that is a beautiful thing to experience. My colleagues are helpful and my boss, most of all, made me feel like I was in a place where I was wanted.

Finally, I get a break from the darkness of my soul. The light at the end of the tunnel finally found its way to me, at long last. I had a new reason to be optimistic about the path my life was taking. I had a chance to live each day with purpose and happy reckoning. The slump in the walk was gone, the richness of my voice now felt like it was home, and my thoughts had found a refreshing spring of possibilities.

I learnt very quickly on the job and in a few weeks, I was putting in good numbers and attending events. I had also moved from my mother’s nice but kind-of-in-another-planet home to another part of town which was much closer to work. Like in my university days, I really still like living alone. Maybe if I get married, I won’t feel so strongly about my privacy, but who knows? I had a hard time finding the most convenient route for my commute to work and had to basically live without electricity or a couple of months but the relative peace of mind that came with living alone was the crowning glory. Sometimes, I go to my mother’s on weekends, especially when she insists or when she wants me to help her with something, and that’s also gratifying in its own way. I get to be the dutiful son and there really isn’t much that tops that feeling as a single bachelor in this part of the world. Ideally, I would love to do more, but I know I will in time, so I’m not trying to rush it.

It’s been four months since I got that mail and I can’t say I’ve had much regret since then. I’ve found renewed optimism, a kind of zest I thought was lost forever in the abyss I previously found myself. You see, there’s a kind of low you get to that makes little things, and even other kinds of low, seem either wonderful or trivial, depending on the situation. Like puff puff becomes so glorious in your mind’s eye, you can endure body odor and still smile at the person when they ask you to ‘dress’ your buttocks so there can be space for the fifth passenger on your seat in the bus. Life takes on more meaning for your soul and you see everything in a new light, the world suddenly seems like a plate filled with a lot of your favorite foods and a side serving of your worst.

I like my job. And that’s why I have to cut this short because I have to work tomorrow. I don’t know why I keep writing these journals for all of you to read, anyways. Maybe I want you to know my story. Maybe I want my life to inspire you or disappoint you somehow. Maybe I don’t really know why and I just have too much free time on my hands. But I like that you bother to read it at all and I hope it helps you somehow and if it doesn’t, maybe someone else’s will. I’m in a fairly good place now, and I hope you are too.

*Lights Kush*