Dating in Lagos: Are women entitled?

Should a man be responsible for paying for a woman’s transport to the venue? Should a man pay for both their meals? Some women go as far as asking men to send money to buy the clothes they should wear on a date.  Is that too much?

Entitlement means feeling like you have a right to someone's money

After spending so much to get women to go out with them, men go on Twitter to cry against this excessive 'billing'.

I spoke to a couple of people who are familiar with the Lagos dating scene about this.

Daniel thinks that "Most Nigerian women feel entitled to your money, a woman you barely know would be begging for money and sending you her account number.

"It is ridiculous. When you are dating her, she asks if you can’t see that her hair is unmade and why you didn't give her money to make her hair. One wonders how she was making her hair before we got together."

Femi on the other hand would feel obliged to pay for a woman’s transport fare to a date if she asks for it.

“If I have been bugging her to go on a date with me and she agrees to do so but says she doesn’t have money for transportation, I will be pay for her ride.”

Emeka feels that "Women need to pay for their transportation. I will settle the food expenses since I asked her out."

Other people advocate for dating women who actually have money and do not see the dating game as an avenue to get money.

One thing these men fail to realise is in a city like Lagos going out is expensive and if a woman does not have that particular outing in her budget, it is quite inconvenient.

Additionally, in Lagos (and most places) everyone is looking out for their own satisfaction and the dating scene is transactional.

If a man knows he is likely to get sex out of a meeting, he will be more inclined to spend money to set it up.

If a woman knows that sex is all a man is looking for, she too would raise her demands and make it monetary - as if to get something out of the date.

The level of artificiality in the dating game is why this is rampant. Genuine connections and interactions should be less about money and material things.