This Book Made Me Realise My Phone Has Too Much Power Over My Life

Our phones have turned into much more than just tools for communication. They're our alarm clocks, our calendars, our social lives, our news outlets, our cameras, and everything in between, and it seems there's no escaping them. But what happens when the very thing designed to keep us connected eventually ends up disconnecting us from the world around us?

If you've ever found yourself mindlessly scrolling, checking your phone for no reason, or feeling overwhelmed by constant notifications, “How to Break Up with Your Phone” by Catherine Price may be the lifeline you need.

Price addresses the struggle of our modern obsession with our phones without going to the extreme of banning phones altogether.

Instead, she provides a roadmap to help us forge a healthier, more mindful relationship with our devices. Her approach is unique: it's not about running from technology, but about learning to coexist with it in a way that doesn’t erode our mental health, personal relationships, or productivity.

You know the feeling, your phone buzzes in your pocket, and your hand instinctively goes to it. You do that "just a second" check on your screen, and voilà: the hour has passed. You are not alone. We all do this, and it is not an accident. The apps on our phones were deliberately made for that purpose: to keep us hooked. They have found a way to tap deep into our brain's reward systems to create addiction-like behaviours.

Price goes deep into the psychology behind this digital dependency, describing how smartphones exploit our hardwired cravings for validation, novelty, and dopamine hits. Each like, comment, and message is a little rush, one that tugs them back in time after time.

Consider social media, for example: endless scrolling, notifications giving us just enough to keep us intrigued, but never quite enough to satisfy our curiosity. But while this makes the apps fun, it’s also what makes them so dangerously addictive.

The book also addresses how this addiction impacts our daily life: from reduced attention span to fractured relationships, the cost of being continuously "on" is not small. Price underlines that this perpetual engagement with our phones doesn't just rob our time; it steals our capability for presence in our lives. We miss out on the beauty of spontaneous moments, deep conversations, and quiet time to reflect and regain strength.

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One reason Price's book appeals to me is its practicality. She does not ask you to give up your phone or cut yourself off entirely from any digital life. Instead, How to Break Up with Your Phone offers a 30-day program to help you gradually take control of your phone use. Think of it more like a breakup that doesn’t occur overnight.

On the first day of the 30-day plan, track how much time you spend on your phone. Many of us are really shocked to realise just how much time we devote to mindless scrolling or checking our apps out of habit. Once you know how much time you spend on your phone, Price encourages you to reflect on how you're spending your time, whether the activities align with your personal goals or values.

Is your phone bridging the gap between you and your friends, or is it just something to bridge the time? Is the content you consume adding value to your life, or are you wasting moments that could be used for more purposeful activities?

To monitor your habits, Price recommends starting with quality over quantity. How do you feel before, during, and after using your phone? It's not about cutting out time, but being purposeful with your use. 

As you go through the 30-day plan, Price recommends introducing "mindful breaks": periods when you don’t use your phone, even if for a short time. This is to reintroduce you to moments of mindfulness in which you are fully present. It's as simple as taking a walk outside without feeling the need to check your phone, or sitting down to eat without scrolling through Instagram. It's a little thing, but it helps to break the cycle of dependence on phones.

Throughout this journey, Price emphasises self-compassion. She consistently reminds readers that it's okay to slip up and that perfection isn't the goal; it's progress. Like any breakup, it's going to be tough. But by the end of the 30 days, you will start to see shifts in your behaviour, and more importantly, you'll begin to feel better about your digital habits.

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The Art of Coexisting with Your Phone

Price guides readers on establishing healthier boundaries with their devices. She encourages the use of tools such as turning off notifications, curating your apps, and establishing phone-free zones-for example, during meals or before bed. If we set these boundaries consciously, it will be difficult for our phones to drive our schedules.

Price also presents the idea of "Trial Separation" from your phone, where you take short breaks throughout the day. These breaks are designed to give a glimpse into what life is without the buzzing in a pocket. First, separations can indeed feel uncomfortable. Over time, you begin to realise just how freeing it feels to be in control of your attention and focus.

What Catherine Price offers in How to Break Up with Your Phone is not only a guide to taking a break from your phone but also a transformative approach to developing a healthier relationship with technology. The 30-day plan is more than a digital detox; it's a path to reclaiming your time, focus, and peace of mind.