This 'Who’s taking me home tonight?' story is a must read

The streets don’t sleep. And the streets are my home, nay, I am the streets, and I don’t sleep. I’m who they call an Isaac John girl. If you know GRA Ikeja, you’ll understand what I’m talking about, if you don’t, you’re a learner.

Business is slow today, it’s only Tuesday. Thursdays through Saturdays are the busiest days. I’m dressed in a flimsy see-through blouse, and a skirt that’s short enough to actually be a belt. The high heeled shoes I’m wearing are beginning to hurt my ankles, but I maintain a seductive pose right there at the side of the road.

Occasionally, I wave at cars, hoping they’ll stop. Not just any car, mind you, but exotic cars, expensive cars. Cars that look like the person behind the wheels wipes his ass with rolls of dollars.

I’m a lady of the night. I sleep during the day and work at night. And by work I mean I exchange my body for money. I’m what you self righeous prigs call a slut, harlot, whore, prostitute, ashewo, ashana etc. But the truth is, not many of you are any better than me.

At least I’m honest about my intentions. You girls who have five boyfriends; one for money, one for the best sex, one for ‘love’, one in Malaysia, and one to keep you company in school, you sleep with all five of them regularly, and I’m the slut?

At least I know what I want right from the start, I’m not trying to fool anybody. Or is it the girl that only sleeps with rich guys because they have more money to throw around that is a saint? Or is it Iya Kabiru who sneaks off to Semiu’s room once her husband leaves home for work that’s any better than me? No. Most of you who sit on your high chairs and pass judgement on my kind aren’t any better. Infact, you’re worse cos you’re goddamn hypocrites.

But the few sensible ones among you wonder, you think, you ask yourselves what kind of desperation would lead a woman to barter her vagina for money, day after day. There’s the risk of crazy men who have bizzare sexual preferences, eg, those who want you to have sex with animals. There’s the risk of those who want to kidnap you for ritual purposes. There’s the risk of those who just want to infect the world with whatever horrible diseases they have.

My reason? Quite simple. The moment I realised I could actually get paid for letting any man do what my step father had been doing to me for the past one year, I packed my bags and I was gone. I was 15. Now, 5 years down the line, pleasing and pleasuring a man is all I know how to do. I let them do things to me that their prudish wives would never allow. That’s my only skill, my only qualification. Why shouldn’t I make money from it? Does it matter how many men have had me?

Besides, I’m doing the world a favour, especially those stuck up women who think I don’t deserve to breathe the same air with them. Guess what? Your husband is only married to your fat ass because of me. That’s right. I satisfy him in bed and he momentarily forgets your nagging. And your flabby thighs. And huge belly. And sagging boobs. And your not-so-tight coochie (from childbirth). I satisfy his sexual needs, and that keeps him sane enough to deal with you.

Harlots know things about a man that his wife of 30 years doesn’t know. You don’t listen to him. All you do is nag nag nag nag nag and nag! It’s me he talks to. I listen, or at least I pretend to. I ride him good and make sure the tension eases out of his body.

I rub his belly and let him do the talking. I don’t harrass him about missing my calls, or coming home late. I give him precious few minutes of peace, solitude and ecstacy. Because of this, he can deal with your bullshit. I keep him sane, for you. In fact, you ought to pay me as well!

My ankles hurt badly now, I guess many men aren’t bothered about getting some on a Tuesday night. I just hope I quickly get a customer tonight. And hopefully, I won’t be found with my reproductive organs severed off in the morning, like that poor Bisi girl that used to stand on this street corner with me.

Fatimah is a writer and an aspiring baby girl. Check out her awesome writings on the wanderinglass.com and follow her on Twitter @FlawlessMilo

ALSO READ: This 'Mr Lecturer' story is a must read