'Lies of a First Date' by Oluwaseun Oloruntegbe

She was leaning by the bar hot in heels sipping what looked like soda when Stan caught a gaze of her from across the hall. She looked so dazzling like she’s got the world at her feet as she was that hot in her heels. It’s been a long afternoon and she was exhausted from all the dancing and chatting. Her heels hurt as much as they cost, the shoes not made for standing let alone walking or dancing, she couldn’t wait to get home and fling them of her foot.

Stan had come to his friend Mike’s wedding reception determined to meet his own future bride, and so far it looked like he will be going home empty handed. His eagerness and hope were restored as soon as he caught a glimpse of the hot lady across the hall. He wasn’t going to leave without getting at least a dinner date with her. He got up and started walking towards her, millions of thoughts tumbling through his mind. What do I say, should I complement her look, should I start with a joke? He was getting close and it was now pretty obvious that he was heading towards her. Here we go she whispered to herself.

Hola señorita said Stan, seeking to impress her with an exotic language. You could imagine his shock when she replied señor de Hola, estoy bien. Como estas? Stan doesn’t speak Spanish and his plan was already failing from ‘hello’. Be calm, don’t panic, I can salvage this he thought to himself. I actually don’t speak Spanish, I was just looking to impress you with a foreign language Stan confessed. It’s OK, neither do I, but I took a few classes she replied much to Stan’s relief.

I’m Stan and you are? Aziza she replied. What a beautiful name, it reminds of that Styl plus song Stan said with a grin on his face. That is Hadiza, not Aziza she replied, and guys have be using that tired old line on me since the song was first released. The grin on Stan’s face quickly disappeared like dew at the mere sight of sunrise as his heart started palpitating again. Remain calm, I can still make this work he reassured himself. Is there anything this girl doesn’t know? Did the line ever work said Stan as they both smiled while giving each other ‘the look’. Finally, she smiled Stan was still thinking when she abruptly interrupted his thoughts with an apology. Forgive me for sounding so rude, I just want to go home, I can’t feel my legs, and these shoes are killing me. Stan now fully reassured smiled and complemented her on her shoes and dress, to which she replied with a cheeky ‘Thank you’, aren’t you just sweet?

How do you know Vivian Stan asked? I’ve never met her until today, but I attended the same University with Mike. They do look like a really happy couple, and I’m very pleased for the both of them. Everyone deserves this kind of happiness she said, her words like honey to Stan’s ears. Might she be the one he thought to himself again? I’ve got to stop talking to myself he said out loud. What? She asked. Nothing, I was just thinking out loud.

What do you do Aziza? Wait let me guess, Doctor? Close enough she said with a smile. Smart guess, because I said I studied in the same University with Mike right? Actually I’m a PH Administrator. PH what? Replied Stan. Public Health Administrator. I go around inspecting and evaluating health care centers looking for ways to improve them and help maximize the resources they already have available at their disposals. That sounds like a fun job Stan said to which she replied ‘sure, it’s got its perks’.

Look Stan, you look like a really nice guy and I’ll really love to get to know you more, but it’s not going to happen today. I really have to go home, cos the longer I stand here the crankier I’m going to be. Why don’t you give me a call sometime and we could meet, maybe have a meal together, get to know each other better she said as she handed Stan her business card. Sure, replied Stan who couldn’t believe his luck and was visibly surprised at the turn of events. This had disaster written all over it from ‘hello’. How about Friday she asked? We could go for a walk in the park or go skating in that new Ice Park place. That would be fun Stan replied, I haven’t skate in a while but it’ll be fun. It’s a date Stan said as they both parted ways and she hopped into a taxi cab that was already waiting for her. Stan has never skated in his life but he wasn’t going to pass up this unbelievable opportunity that just fell on his lap. Now he has six days to learn how to skate if he’s not going to embarrass himself on a first date.

Stan and Aziza were now at the Ice Park waiting for their turn to skate. Stan is excited and worried at the same time. He’s been taking skating lessons all week but he’s still not sure if skating is the best idea of a first date. I can see you’re off the heels today Stan said with a smile. I’m on a heel break today she replied. Moreover its casual Friday and I can see you’re not in suit today yourself.

So tell me about yourself said Aziza in an attempt to break the awkward silence that was beginning to grow. Who is Stan and what does he do other than going around pretending to speak Spanish? Stan smiled humbly accepting the friendly jibe that Aziza has just thrown at him. Fair enough he replied, Stan 0 Aziza 1.

I’m a male, black and bold as you can see he said wittingly, I teach high school Economics and I play basketball occasionally. Basketball really? Interesting. I wouldn’t have thought of that in a million years cos you look like someone that dances ballet. Guys that skate are usually very flexible which also makes them good dancers? That I get answered Stan, dancing is fun but ballet, really? Of all dances, ballet? You’re funny and you’re obviously messing with me, but well played, Stan 0 Aziza 2. I’m going to get you back, you can count on it he said with a friendly smile.

It was now their turn to skate and Stan’s heart was now beating faster than a Skrillex song. But fate would soon smile on Stan. His skating shoe size was not available at the moment so he ‘kindly’ suggested that Aziza go skate alone, he’ll be watching from the sides. Aziza reluctantly agreed and slide onto the ice. Stan was watching in deep admiration as she glided up and down the ice with grace, looking like a princess that had just met her prince charming. Could this be real Stan thought to himself? Smart, beautiful, funny and athletic, I must go another date with her. I seriously need to stop talking to myself he said out loud. Aziza was having so much fun while giving Stan the occasional wave and smile as she glide around the ice, his heart rate elevating each time she smiled at him. Stan got away with skating this time and he couldn’t believe his luck. Now walking along the park, the sun setting beautifully set on the trees, chatting, arguing and laughing about everything and nothing, the first date was going so well and neither of them wants it to end.

Aziza, did you have fun he asked? You look like you did. Oh yes, I love skating, thank you for coming with me she answered, it’s a pity they didn’t have your shoe size. I know right? I’d have loved to skate with you and show you some of my signature moves Stan bragged. Really, signature moves? I’ll love to see your moves. Maybe some other time. Stan’s heart leapt for joy at those words ‘some other time’. Sure he replied, we have to see each other again, it’s so much fun hanging out with you. There’s something refreshing about you, I’m yet to figure out what it is but I will. She smiled and he smiled back at him as they both walked along the park.

So what else do you do for fun other than basketball and skating she asked out of the blue as the silence was now growing again and they were running out of things to say. Not much really Stan replied. I grade tests on a regular basis, I play the piano occasionally as I don’t have one of my own and I work out at the gym every other fortnight. That’s interesting Aziza replied, looks like you lead a very active and productive life, I love productive. Kudos

The date has gone so well and it was now time to go home. Stan offered to give Aziza a ride home even though he lives on the other side of town. They were now in front of Aziza’s apartment complex staring suspiciously at each other, either one not knowing what would be appropriate to do next. Stan with all the fibers in his body trembling at the fear of a fatal error or mistake or a friendly rejection then courageously took the initiative and asked Aziza if she would like to go on another date. I would love that very much she replied, an answer that made Stan reflexively start dancing Azonto for joy. He then asked her if he could give kiss her goodnight, a question to which Aziza answered ‘Do you always ask all the girls you go out with before you kiss them’? Not exactly he answered, but in this case I don’t wanna do anything wrong before he leaped forward, planted a kiss on her, gave her another hug, said goodnight and headed for his car. I really had a good time Aziza said quietly as he walked away, they both smiled at each other once more as Aziza slipped into her apartment building.

I could have asked him to come up for a drink Aziza thought to herself, the night is still young but I don’t want to look desperate, I don’t want him thinking of me as a first date freaky kind of girl. Oh well, maybe next time. Stan was all smiles on his drive home, pictures of the whole date experience replaying over and over in his head. I could have asked to walk her inside, or maybe that will have been too forward, I don’t want her thinking of me as one of those sex on a first date kind of guy. Oh well, at least I got a next date with her he said out loud. I really need to stop talking to myself he said out loud again.

Who said you don’t lie to get a date Stan said to himself. From now on, it’s lie as much as you can but he didn’t have to lie again, at least not to Aziza who later found out that Stan didn’t skate and couldn’t even care less if he skated or not. She already liked him from the first ‘hello’ at the bar. There was just something refreshing about him.

They went on a few more dates together, did the freaky on the 3rd date complying with the generally accepted 3-dates rule, and one thing led to another 2 years later they were married and they lived happily ever after, or not. I don’t know, I really don’t care much for happy endings. Well there you go. That is the story of Stan and Aziza.

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