Why spiritual compatibility is just as important as sexual compatibility in your relationship

The likelihood that two people will be happy together in a relationship or marriage is predicated on their ability to find a common ground on many things. Couples in healthy relationships and happy marriages see eyeball to eyeball on so many subjects - sex, finances, communication, etc.

It is what makes relationships tick; that connection of thoughts and a like-mindedness on all important matters of life. If you ever wonder why couples break up for irreconcilable differences, this is it: Their ideas of how things should work in the relationship became unworkably disconnected, detached to such extent that redemption could no longer be found for them.

Couples in healthy relationships and happy marriages see eyeball to eyeball on so many issues (Credit - courtesy) Pulse Live Kenya

And here is what is more important to learn in this compatibility discourse: it is never enough to find agreement on just the insignificant aspect[s] of life. Partners’ views on life’s issues have to be in sync, particularly on matters that are fundamentally important to their togetherness – like sex and spirituality.

As we have already clearly stated in this previous post here, sexual compatibility is a thing that partners need to discuss before getting together, and must continue to strive towards long after they’ve become an item.

Sexual compatibility is something couples must continue to strive towards long after they’ve become an item. (Credit - celebzmagazine) Pulse Live Kenya

Having said that; it’s about time we also touched on the spiritual angle of relationships and marriages, an issue that doesn’t get as much attention in the mainstream as other relationship issues, despite being just as important.

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In a society like ours where religion is a big deal and romantic relationships with huge potentials have been cut off due to religious differences, religious compatibility is something to reckon with when going into relationships. And while it may be an insignificant thing at the beginning when two people are just sizing each other up, going on dates and all, difference in religious beliefs could snowball into the a real dealbreaker when people somehow find themselves connected on all other important levels except on the subject of their faith.

This is why it is important to ask from the get-go if differences in religious beliefs will be an issue down the road or not.

While some will say their partner has to compulsorily practice the same religion as them, some aren’t so strict on the rule.

Even when practicing the same religion as a partner, you need to know if your understanding of the religion is in the same line, or maybe theirs is a brand too zealous than you can handle.

You need to know if your understanding of the religion is in the same line as your partner's. (Credit - Ebony Magazine) Pulse Live Kenya

In Christianity for example; some folks have no problem giving all their income to God as seeds and covenant offerings. Is your Christian faith strong enough to the point that this won’t be an issue especially when a partner keeps doing it like, every month?

There was a[n] [unconfirmed] story once reported on social media of a husband who gave up the only family car as an offering right in the middle of a church service, only for the wife to throw a very wild tantrum on their return home before going to get the car back from the man of God.

Would it be an issue for you if, somewhere along the line, your partner becomes too invested in the things of the spirit to the point that it affects their outlook on life, dressing and appearance, child raising, sexual activities, availability, etc?

It is important to have all the necessary conversations before settling down in marriage (Credit - Youth Village Kenya) Pulse Live Kenya

It has become such a cliché soundbite to hear single people speak of a desire for only God-fearing partners. And while that may be admirable, it is also important that whether before or after getting those relationships, partners need to gauge and discuss their ideas on religious beliefs and spirituality; such that they're always on the same page and operate on the same plane when it comes to the things they do in their faith, and how those things affect their relationship and marriage.

Just as a disconnect in sexual energy can disturb the balance of a union and set a foundation for resentment, spiritual incompatibility also has the ability to cause some serious damage to that relationship or marriage you currently have, or the one you're aspiring to.