Dear Bukky,I know I can't marry without my Wali's [Father/Guardian] permission. But can I get engaged without asking anyone to agree? My family is a Christian family and I converted Islam one and half years ago. My family won't accept a Muslim or foreign husband / fiance... I don't want to be in forbidden relationship that's why I prefer get engaged now, but I can't tell my family actually.

I need more time to [convince them about] Islam, Muslims and with the fact that a foreign man can be a good husband and father. That's why I'm asking again. Can I get engaged without telling my family?

Of course I'd tell them after some time and of course I want to them be at my wedding. I won't marry without telling them.________________

Your have limited options here.

Since you’re now a practising Muslim, I would expect that you have submitted yourself to the dictates of the religion, and in Islam there are principles that govern marriage.

The most important of these principles is consent.

For a marriage to be acceptable in Islam, the man must seek the consent of the woman and that of her parents (Wali).

And if they won’t agree to a wedding, why become engaged?

The only reason why your engagement would make sense is if you are certain that you can convince them to see beyond religion and nationality and see your partner as a great person that you think he is.

If not, it might make sense to convince them first before agreeing to an engagement.

Like you rightly pointed out in your message, the permission of a Wali (your father) is very important in Islamic marriage.

Consider asking relatives or friends of your parents to help convince them if you have issues convincing them by yourself.

This may take a little while, but in trying to convince them, you need to show them the reason you subscribed to Islam and let the beauty of Islam show in your ways.

To persuade them and win their hearts, you need to get closer to them and be kinder to them.

You can only convince them about the beauty of Islam if she exudes the qualities expected of Muslimah [Muslim ladies] and you should pray over it, too.

Good luck.________________

Do you want to talk about your love life, marriage or family issues?

Do you have burning questions that you would love to get answers to?

Just send a mail to and I'll provide the most honest answers to them anonymously.

So, why not send that mail today and let's talk about it?

A problem shared is a problem half-solved!