Why you should not place undue focus on faithfulness in your partner

In every serious relationship is an unstated rule that partners are to be faithful to each other. Unless otherwise agreed by both partners, no one goes into a relationship expecting to be cheated on.

Obviously, from the above, it means that faithfulness is an established requirement in all relationships, and partners do not necessarily have to demand it beforehand. It is simply expected. In modern relationships and especially now in our age where avenues to cheat and explore ways to be unfaithful are so numerous, the scarcity of faithfulness seems to be at an all-time high.

All you need do is stay for few minutes on social media and you’ll likely stumble on an accusation, maybe even a ‘receipt’ exposing a philandering, unfaithful husband or boyfriend. Sometimes, it would be a woman or girlfriend who is being exposed for having a boytoy or a sideguy. The scarcer faithfulness has become, the more valuable it has become in partners. Also a greater premium is now seemingly placed on it by people who are single and searching.

No one wants the struggle of dating someone who cheats.[Credit Black Excellence] Pulse Nigeria

Such is the great importance now placed on faithfulness that many rank it as their biggest relationship need in a partner. To find a faithful partner, it seems, is like finding Agbalumo in April. So when people find a partner who is faithful, they treat them as kings and queens.

By extension, because everyone now understands how ‘special’ it is to have a partner who does not cheat, there is a tendency for faithful people in relationships to be lazy, to put in weak efforts and to do the barest minimum in the belief that they are absolved of any or many other necessary efforts simply because they do not cheat - an idea that is not only selfish, but reveals the type of cocoon of delusion such partners have gone to hibernate in.

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The reality out here is that faithfulness, as nice and impressive as it is, is not an excuse to be a lackadaisical partner, neither is it a reason for anyone to refuse to hold their partner to other standards and expectations they should have of them.

When a partner refuses to go over and beyond for you, when they refuse to make compromises, support your dreams and concede some inconveniences for your sake, you should know better than to let them coast in that relationship, all because they do not cheat.

Faithfulness is good in a partner, of course. But the standard has to be higher than that basic requirement. [Credit: Getty] Muswada

Imagine dating someone who does not give you time, does not match your efforts, goes on and off, does not listen to you, is terrible at communicating, lacks emotional intelligence, refuses to put in the required efforts to change and really just sucks as a partner.

Does it make sense to continue dating such person all because he or she doesn’t cheat?

Frankly, being faithful is good, no doubt, but no longer should you be the babe or guy who hypes it than necessary.

It’s important, but so are several other relationship needs you have. Never let anyone bamboozle you with faithfulness, the barest minimum requirement of relationships, when what you actually deserve is the whole nine yards; a wholesome, well-rounded partner who is not only faithful and loyal to you but also understands fully that relationships shall not live by faithfulness alone, but by every reasonable demand communicated by the love of his or her life.