The pregnant woman’s body changes; her libido might increase or decrease, and the man might suddenly lose his erotic feelings for the wife. Sometimes, men lose interest in having sex with their wives because they are scared that sex might hurt the unborn baby.
According to clinical psychologists, men do cheat on their pregnant wives. In one survey, one in ten men admitted to cheating on their pregnant wives. Other relationship psychologists argue that the chances of infidelity increase as the pregnancy advances. Worse still, these unfaithful men often admit to being satisfied in their marriages.
Why do men cheat on pregnant wives?
1. The fear of rejection
Men value sexual intercourse and intimacy. Sex provides the emotional closeness that they yearn for. So if for some reason, their pregnant wives aren’t available to fill that void, the man can begin to feel insecure.
Infidelity can be the man’s way of saying he feels emotionally neglected by his pregnant wife. Often these unfaithful men fear that their wives will focus all their love and attention on the baby.
2. Concern or worry about the baby’s safety and well-being
In an online forum for mothers, 90% of women complained that their husbands were afraid to have intercourse with them.
“He’s scared that his penis will hurt the baby,” read the complaints. Even after a medical expert had assured them that sex was safe during pregnancy, the men wouldn’t budge.
No one knows why men don’t feel comfortable sleeping with their pregnant wives. The fear seems to be ingrained in their DNA. So when these men yearn for intimacy, they look elsewhere, particularly where there is no baby bump.
3. Anxiety over the safety of the pregnant wife
Pregnancy comes with a lot of uncertainty and complications. Men know this and that’s why they shy away from anything that might hurt their wives. To cope with their fears, they avoid sexual intercourse. Men don’t want to live with the guilt of hurting their pregnant wives and the baby.
Although cheating is an immature way to deal with this abject fear, many men turn to the option. So when next you’re wondering, why do men cheat on pregnant wives? remember that they might be dealing with a lot of anxiety and panic.
A new baby is both exciting and stressful for the expecting mother and father. Although men seem to be sidelined at this point, they do need encouragement and support. Often men feel overwhelmed by the changes in the home and by the changes in their relationship.
The stress of it all can drive the man into the arms of another woman.
There are many more reasons why men become unfaithful to their pregnant wives, but we have listed the four most common reasons.
Now that we know that some men do cheat on pregnant wives, let’s look at the few things expecting mothers can do to discourage their husbands from straying.
1) Rekindle the romance
Pregnancy can be exhausting and sometimes, stressful. But this shouldn’t stop you from rekindling the romance. Here are a few ways to spice up your relationship during pregnancy:
• Go on a scheduled date night together. It could be once a week or once a month
• Have movie nights together. These movie nights might be at home or outside your home.
• Exchange little gifts occasionally
Continue this tradition even after your baby arrives. Rekindling the romance strengthens marital bonds.
2) Spontaneity is sexy
As much as possible, give your husband sweet, little surprises. Avoid cliché surprises (e.g. surprise birthday parties. Many men don’t like that). Be creative. Little, spontaneous surprises like hugs, pecks, kisses and hand rubs can make a world of difference.
You can make his favourite meals one fine weekend or buy him tickets to a comedy show or a game he loves (if you can afford it). Do the little things that make his life beautiful and he’ll reciprocate.
3) Turn up the heat
Your husband might be scared to express his desire for you, so it’s okay to take the lead. You can start by sending him hints and other suggestive messages. You can draw a heart on his bathroom mirror, or you can send a few naughty text messages throughout the day. If he’s still afraid to try coitus, you can offer oral sex.
Be generous and creative in the bedroom. Don’t be scared to turn up the heat.
4) Reassure him via social media
It’s the age of the internet, so chances are that your husband is active on social media. Send yours on Whatsapp, Facebook, Twitter and/or Instagram. Keep it positive. Reserve this media for short, encouraging messages.
Resist the temptation to remind him of unpaid bills and exhausted beverages. Tell him how much you love and adore him. If he means a lot to you, let him know. Doing these could keep him faithful throughout your pregnancy and afterwards.
Talk often. Talk about the little things and the big things. And when he talks, listen with rapt attention. Resist the temptation to check your phone, to interrupt him or to distract yourself. Men want to be seen, to be listened to. Effective communication is the lifeblood of every relationship.
Final thoughts on do men cheat on pregnant wives
Men cheat for all sorts of reasons. But during pregnancy, you can do your best to help your man remain faithful.
Reassure your husband. Highlight his strengths. Men like to be appreciated and respected. Spice up your romance, too. Most of these strategies work for most men, but they may not work for men who have sex addiction, anger management problems or other psychological problems.
Read Also: Is it safe to have sex during pregnancy?
This article was first published on AfricaParent.com