15 awesome funny words of wisdom Nigerians can incorporate into their lives

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Are your friends having a messy arguments? Just chip in these lines to make them laugh.

We all experience situations where funny words of wisdom can save the day!

1. I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day, tomorrow is not looking good either.

2. I love deadlines; I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

3. I would have explained it to you, but your brain would explode.

4. Someday we will look back on all this and plow into a parked car.

5. There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved by a suitable application of high explosives.

6. Tell me what you need and I will tell you how to get along without it.

7. Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days you are the statue.

8. Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he is not there the first time you need him, chances are you wont be needing him again.

9. I don’t have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem (I say this a lot).

10. Last night, I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and thought to myself, “where the heck is the ceiling?”

11. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.

12. I don’t suffer from stress, I’m a carrier.

13. You are slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.

14. Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons because, to them, you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

15. Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to there level.

Lool Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?