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Pulse Blogger Sex and the city [Episode ii]

So, if you’re one of those girls/boys having sex because you think it’s going to elevate your status in the society; you’re greatly deceiving yourself.

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Sex is not the only reason we should go into a relationship. play

Sex is not the only reason we should go into a relationship.


A couple of weeks ago, the first chapter of “sex and the city” was introduced.

The sole reason for continuing this topic is purposely because a lot of us young adults are of sexual age, and as a matter of fact; some of us have been engaging in sexual intercourse without a candid reason. Some of us see it as a usual act whereby, we have a boyfriend and the next thing to do is, have sex with him. Forgetting the fact that, sex is not the only reason we should go into a relationship. And for the longest time, I have been waiting to say this; sex does not add an ounce of maturity to you.

So, if you’re one of those girls/boys having sex because you think it’s going to elevate your status in the society; you’re greatly deceiving yourself. Sex cannot physically make you any better than you already are, neither will it help you attain any prestigious heights in the future. Sex is an act of pleasure between two consented adults involved in a mutual understanding/relationship. Below are a few tips and societal views on why young adults engage in sex.

Afraid of pregnancy

Young adults who engage in sexual intercourse, do so out of fear. A good amount of our young ladies are afraid of being “boyfriend-less” so they agree to have sex just to keep the men in their lives. As weird as it sounds, the sex is far from being pleasurable because these girls are afraid of getting pregnant out of wedlock. They are not open to great sex, they just want a tip of the iceberg, and they don’t want to be bullied by their friends who are already pros in bed.

Read Also: Your affirmations confirms your miracles

Sex is good especially, when the chemistry is awesome. play

Sex is good especially, when the chemistry is awesome.



More so, having a good sex involves a large amount of freedom and acceptance from the brain, but if these girls are just doing it to satisfy their partners, then the sex is soured. Relatable reasons are;

  • I don’t want him to think that I’ve been having sex for a long time
  • I don’t want him to marry someone else, so I shouldn’t show him my wild side.
  • I just want to sexually satisfy him
  • He will think I’m cheating on him if I suggest changing styles, using sex toys etc.

It’s a man’s world

Ethically, letting a man think sex is all up to him is somewhat related to why we have boring and uninteresting sex life between partners. I mean, isn’t it crazy to just let one gender decide what sex should be, feel like and even when to have it? So long coitus (sexual intercourse) is an act between two, I see no reason as to why both gender shouldn’t be fairly involved in it.

I am not preaching about engaging in “wrong or forbidden sex” like adultery, child molestation, rape and all other demeaning form of sex out there! I am basically stating the fact that all men respire and that is enough reason a society cannot dictate how a particular gender should respond about certain activities.

Let me humour you a bit by telling you that, most men who brag about rigorous sexual encounters with their several partners; are blatant lairs.  Scientifically, there is a “refractory period” i.e. the time it takes a man to become sexually aroused and sustain a good erection post first round of sex. Although, it varies between men as it is age related. And of course, women have an easier spark at getting right back in the mood almost immediately, depending on her mind-set and schedule.

Read Also: Love at first glance...[chapter 1]

Pretentious sex is way worse than not having sex at all. play

Pretentious sex is way worse than not having sex at all.


So, if a man tells you he had a six rounds sex with a girl, and it was under a short frame of time; forget it, he’s lying to you. At least most young couples can brag about multiple sex during the weekend and other days, depending on the following;

  • They are open-minded
  • They are probably in an open relationship
  • Their friends and close family knows they are dating
  • They’re together in the same college and probably living together
  • They are colleagues who are single and living in a place far from home
  • They’re having experimental sex or marathon sex, etc. or they are just used to having great sex together.

But for a man who has so much responsibilities for the weekend and loads of work for the week ahead, he cannot spend all week thrusting to and fro in-between the legs of a woman. Because, he knows it’s not a game! Even though sex is to be enjoyed, the amount of time one indulges in it does not guarantee extreme happiness. So let’s face the facts, sex is good especially, when the chemistry is awesome.

The pretence

Pretentious sex is way worse than not having sex at all. To be fair, about 75% of men reach orgasm during sex and only 29% of women are said to achieve orgasm during copulation. However, most women require clitoral stimulation to help them reach climax. But out of ignorance, only a few men and women know this.

Sad truth is; a good number of sexually active people who engages in having multiple sexual partners are said to bad in bed, and also unsatisfied. Hence, their insatiable quest to finding the best sex there is. So, to avoid these fake moans and orgasms, you must be ready to engage in hard-core foreplay and romance, otherwise you won’t be able to satisfy your lady in bed.

 Ah, yes!! You must be open to listening to your partner if you want to have the best sex of your life. And please note, sex does not involve using the same amount of strength required for a full drum of yams to be pounded. Sex is supposed to make you have Goosebumps and tingling butterflies in your bellies; if this is not the case, then it is an experimental sex.

No human being can receive pleasure from a bruised and reddened organ, no one ever will. So stop taking hard drugs before sex…….it’s not a well you are digging…..the extra strength is not needed. All you need is to stimulate the sexual organs……not pounding on them…Lolzzzz

As you commence, ask questions and do exactly what your partner says. Don’t change from missionary to doggy after one minute and then change to sixty-nine after twenty seconds. This habit will only delay orgasm and hinder the amount of pleasure your partner was supposed to get from it.

Imagine chewing on a jollof rice and then suddenly you add chops of yams or beans almost immediately; wouldn’t it change the taste for you? It will be more pleasurable if you both can communicate during sex…………and remember, your age, ego, popularity and what not, should be set aside during sex or probably thrown out the window. Otherwise, you’ll just have a sexy lady moaning your name out of pretence and not out of pleasure.

Fancy sex is not meant for certain people

Blah! Blah!! Blah!!! Bull-crap, it’s not true. The honest truth about certain life situations is that; some people criticise what they can’t have. In our environment where people visit the beach with clothes on, and still jump into the water with these same clothes they’re supposed to go home with; what do you expect?

But when they see someone wearing a bikini, they’ll start to insult, mock and even name the person. Whereas, one ought not to swim with clothes on! Would you rather listen to these clueless folks than enjoy your own life?

Wouldn’t you rather enjoy your days either as a single or married person, than live in the fear of not wanting to be tagged by these very people who could care less about you? I am of the opinion that an unsatisfied libido will chase after anything in the quest to finding that which will satisfy it.

Read Also: Things my momma showed me

They are probably in an open relationship play

They are probably in an open relationship

(Atlanta Black Star)


Sex is for everyone, you must be open minded to have a wonderful sexual experience; lest the act itself would be a waste of time.  You must practice safe and healthy sex, and for what it’s worth; not all sexual positions you see on TV are good for you. What makes sex worthwhile is the amount of passion and emotions between couples, if you make it too experimental, you’ll miss out on its perks.

I hope you enjoyed reading this article!? For more juicy topics, engage with me on my website.

Thanks for reading…

Don’t forget to stay healthy, sane and safe.

Say no to hard drugs!!!

And above all…stay impeccably awesome!!!

Written by Joyous Akhivbareme.

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